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[What is it with all these people randomly transforming?! (Granted, it only happened like twice before, but even so, Hijikata dials in already agitated!)]

How'd you end up like this?! You aren't wearing a mermaid necklace, are you?

[It doesn't look like he is, from what he can see, but who knows, maybe he wore it as an anklet and it's now tied around his fin! Then again, don't people need to be in the water for the transformation to activate?]

Edited 2024-08-02 13:25 (UTC)

{Did you know that fishes are part of animal transformations? In Xie Lian's case, he is a cold water fish because...Winter. He doesn't need a necklace. He's extra special apparently.}

I'm not! {He lays back and ceases the abysmally useless flopping.} I guess I'm grateful I can still breathe?

[Hijikata knows that part - he's turned himself into a shark- or octopus merman a few times before -, but he's baffled at how people keep doing it on accident! (Could he stand to be more lenient about everybody having a different degree of control over their transformation magic? Absolutely. But he's pretty bad at being lenient about anything.)]

Yeah, that's the silver lining here, I guess.

[He mentally leafs through the other options... this is unlikely to be caused by tampered-with food or drink courtesy of the Hearts gang since, unlike those transformations, it's not a monster form, so that does only leave animal transformation.]

You need to calm down and focus on transforming back into a human. Can you do that?

{What makes this worse is Xie Lian is a martial deity. An old one at that! His fellow gods and goddesses are adept at changing their forms, but he has never tried it.

Now he has a fish tail and fins for ears.}

I...I'm not sure. {But what choice does he have? Struggling to sit up, using his abdominal muscles to see to the feat, he lays trembling hands on what used to be his legs.}

It's rather pretty, isn't it? {Not the point, of course, yet the colors are striking.} I should stay calm, you're right.

Edited 2024-08-02 14:14 (UTC)

I guess you're a koi.

[That's his subdued way of saying that he is indeed pretty! But that's more of an afterthought right now, because he actually has no idea how bad it is for merfolk to stay on land for too long.]

If you can't manage it, I'll come over and put you in the bathtub or something - unless you've got a roommate or neighbour who'd be with you faster.

[Then again, not everyone's going to be strong enough to lug a merman around!]

[ Oh! The cry for help is answered immediately as Hua Cheng steps and brings himself to his husband's side. Then he stops, staring with awe at the vision before him.

Beautiful.

But then he smiles softly and approaches his beloved, reaching out to simply pick him up - tail and all. ]

Would you like a pool?

[ Another couple steps and he brings them to a decent sized pond. ]

Wah! Did you transform by accident? I've only been able to do it on purpose!

[What the- And he thought Cucumber got into trouble in weird ways. Shang Qinghua shut his phone before grabbing a wet towel and hurrying outside.]

How in the world? Here, wrap up with this. Let's get you to the tub.

[Can't be heavier than his king, right? Bending down, he hauled him up into his arms.]

[And here, and actual merman has come to "help" with his insider knowledge.]

I have it on good authority that if you dry out you will die. It's quite a long and excruciating demise from my understanding.

Though you'll likely asphyxiate long before that comes to pass.

Oh a koi! We used to keep several ponds of koi in Xianle.

{Now he needs some rich person to take pity on him and build him a nice clean pond. He is doing what he can with his watering can, dripping the contents over his tail.}

My husband should be...somewhere? His name is Hua Cheng. I know he's strong enough to lift me, too.

{Because... Ghost King.}

{The fins on the end of his tail wiggle in relief and he smiles up at his San Lang. He will be just fine now!}

Do you think you can - oh! {He wraps his arms around his sweet husband and blushes.} That... That would be best. Koi need clean places to swim.

{But he smiles at the pond, wiggling eagerly.}

I think I want to swim.

I have been thinking about it, but I never considered a fish!

{Help. 911! Martial...fish...down! Xie Lian wraps the wet towel around his lower half and makes a soft noise of surprise.}

You're so strong, Qinghua!

{...that's helpful and yet...horrifying too.}

I will probably dry out, but I won't die. I might feel like I'm choking for a long time.

{Because he will.}

I just need...some water.

It takes a regular koi thirty minutes, perhaps an hour to die on land. Merfolk being more advanced, can last longer- but too much raw air is indeed lethal.

[And despite having far too much fun being entirely doom and gloom, he will at least offer a tiny itsy bitsy shred of advice.]

Cup your hands over your gills. The longer those remain moist, the better off you will be. All else will be survivable. If you are able to acquire even a small amount of water, prioritize your gills.

And make sure anyone that seeks to move you comes prepared. Merfolk are generally heavier than the average human, and difficult to move on land.

How do you know this? {He is imagining someone just...watching fish die. How awful! Xie Lian rolls onto his side, his fin ears perking. Using his watering can, he drips it over the gills on his sides.}

Got it. Thank you. That does feel better. {Puffing out his cheeks, he sits up.} San Lang... My husband... He can lift me. I'm lucky.

[He COULD be honest and admit to being one himself... but nah, where's the fun in that?]

Merfolk are not so uncommon where I'm from that such information is hard to come by. There's a potion they can drink that allows them to take human form.

I count one merman as a friend back home, so it only makes sense that I would know how to help him should something go wrong.

[Well, technically none of what he said is a lie.]

{SUSPICIOUS, SIR.}

Really? How wonderful. I've never met a mer-person. {He plucks a flower and tucks it into his hair.} I guess that does make sense. Your friend is very lucky to have someone so devoted to them.

Really? You can get a transformation you didn't pick on purpose? I wanna try that next! --oh, wait, you still need help, huh?

Apparently I can. {Could this be a form he has always wanted deep down?} Does a martial god fish sound silly?

{He shakes his head and tucks his hair behind a finned ear.}

Yes...unfortunately I do.

Coming!

[The video's switched to her phone, where Rinku is running out of her apartment building, Travel Crystal in her other hand.]

I don't really know what all we can do, but I bet it'll be enough! I think I still have your address! --Oh, and I don't think it's silly? I mean, koi are supposed to turn into dragons, right? In the story, anyway. And dragons are cool!

[Hijikata relaxes a little - if this pretty but unfortunate koiboy has a strong husband, that's half his problems solved. Actually... could they be the couple Shang Qinghua lives with? First things first, though!]

Do you want to give him a call first of all? Or is he around the house?

[He has no problem staying on the phone with him until helps arrives, but if his husband is out and about and may not answer his phone, maybe he should get moving after all!]

Thank you, Rinku. {She is such a sweet girl. Xie Lian doesn't want to worry her, but thus far she has proved very resilient. He will just have to repay her somehow.}

Just bring me some water to keep my gills wet. {That's a good start anyway.} Oh that's right, they do.

{He smiles and smooths his hands down his tail.}

I used to watch the koi fish darting around our ponds when I was little. They were always so pretty.

{Yes, they are, actually! Qinghua was kidnapped by Xie Lian the moment his frost demon boyfriend went home.}

I... I'll try...

{He calls out for "San Lang!" and then touches a ring dangling from a chain around his neck.}

He'll be here soon. I know it.

Edited 2024-08-04 09:23 (UTC)

That sounds fun! I bet that's why you got that for a fish form. All my animal forms are something I thought was cool!

[One teleport from the nearest Teleport Crystal and a quick run to his house later, Rinku arrives in time and knocks.]

Hi? Oh, I guess we should go into the yard, huh? Where's the gate --

[Hina, for her part, flies out from under Rinku's hat and is already heading over the fence, even though she can't really do much. Rinku blinks, exchanges her hat with a lop-eared rabbit headband in her purse, and proceeds to try to super jump over the wall, Mecchan in tow.]

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