un: Eve 🔪; video

[wroughtandtempered]

[ the video opens to a large, serpentine beast with a wolf's pointed ears pulling back from the camera, having apparently started the recording via booping the phone's screen with her snoot. she flicks out a forked black tongue once, then lays her head down on her paws and says slowly: ]

What do you do when you feel like garbage, and you can't do anything to fix why? When you've just got to wait it out.

...I don't know how long I'm going to be waiting, so. The more ideas the better.

[ a beat, and then she adds: ]

Thanks.

[ —before reaching out to tap the phone again, this time with a paw. animal lovers, enjoy that brief full-screen shot of pink snakewolf toebeans before the feed cuts. ]

Comments

[schrodingerscockroach]

Why do you need to get stronger?

[daturameloxia]

Because I was weak before. [A little wiggling just to check how firm his bonds are.] I couldn't fight back against my father, I couldn't help Korone before she disappeared.

But now I can. And I will.

[schrodingerscockroach]

And how is denying yourself care going to make you stronger? Make it so you could go against your father, or help Choco?

[daturameloxia]

I don't need to anymore. [Another little wiggle before giving up for now.] When I was alone, I wasn't passing out.

[schrodingerscockroach]

[Zipties are hard to get out of without knowing the trick.

As someone with a history of shit self care, you need to do better at caring for yourself. You can't just stop. Even my shit self care was because I was on a self destructive bender or I literally had no choice.

Ah, yes.

Because passing out when around people means you could have totally taken down your father and stopped gang members from taking Choco. [There is thick sarcasm here.] Absolutely not a problem at all.

[daturameloxia]

I'm getting better! [Wylan openly snarls at Wash, which causes Wylan to blink a moment before the anger takes back over.] All I have to do is breathe through the adjustment period.

[schrodingerscockroach]

One, if that was true, then you would need to be around people because the only way to see if your body is going to adjust to the stress is to stress test it. But also, the stress test could kill you, and passing out three times, and with shorter times between each time, its a bad sign.

Again, I've done this shit.

Two, you need a doctor to monitor you when this is happening so if your heart gives out, maybe you won't die.

So whatever is going on here, if it was on purpose, that person is a shit doctor, and if you did this to yourself somehow, you are being real bad at the scientific safety, and I'll tell Donnie, I'm sure he has so many lectures on the subject.

[daturameloxia]

I don't care what you think, Wash. I'm doing what's needed to become stronger.

[And then looks away. It's the best he can do to turn his back while ziptied up.]

[schrodingerscockroach]

Except none of this is making you stronger. Its hurting yourself because anytime you hate yourself, you decide the right thing to do is self destruct as hard as possible because that's what your father told you to do.

[daturameloxia]

I don't hate myself anymore. I only hate him. And you.

[schrodingerscockroach]

[Luckily for Wylan, Wash has been told by people he cares about that they hate him when they're having a time. He's kind of used to it. Thanks Tucker and your emotional immaturity.]

Then why are you hurting yourself?

Because you are. I can already tell you haven't been eating and not sleeping near enough. You haven't cleaned yourself. You've been hyperfocusing on work to an unhealthy degree.

How is any of this liking yourself?

[daturameloxia]

I've told you I don't need to. I have the strength now to keep working through those obstacles. I have a deadline to meet. Stop interfering.

[schrodingerscockroach]

Its not strength to work through your body starving and hitting exhaustion, its insanity and desperation.

You know what happens when you finally stop? You fall flat on your face and are fucked up for a long while after.

[daturameloxia]

[For some reason, that's the last straw.]

Get out.

[schrodingerscockroach]

No! Because you are not taking care of yourself and I am not going to let you hurt yourself. Even if I have to tie you down to do it.

You really think I don't know what's going on? Wylan, this is the shit I've pulled for years, and I know the consequences of it. I got my body specifically rebuilt to be able to take it better, and its still fucked me up.

You don't have that. You don't have it physically, and you don't have it mentally, and the more you go down this path, the more you're going to destroy yourself. And guess what? Destroying yourself just makes you weaker.

[daturameloxia]

But it's not the same, is it? You have no idea. I'm not you, nor will I ever be. Calling me weak won't stop me either.

[schrodingerscockroach]

And why don't I have an idea?

And I'm not calling you weak. I'm telling you the objective fact of your actions. No one got strong by starving themselves.

[daturameloxia]

Because the alchem-- [This boy cannot keep his mouth shut when he wants his freedom. He doesn't bother answering the second question as he tries to climb up onto his feet.]

[schrodingerscockroach]

[Wash puts a hand on his shoulder and pushes him back down.]

The alchemy?

[daturameloxia]

[Wylan presses his lips into a thin line, resigned to saying nothing further about the soul alchemy keeping his body going.]

[schrodingerscockroach]

....I can see what Magic Drain does.

[daturameloxia]

I don't have any magic to drain from. [With a hostile, snippy tone.]

[schrodingerscockroach]

... [Did he not know about the seasonal powers?]

You sure that alchemy isn't magic?

[daturameloxia]

[Nope, Wylan doesn't know anything about seasonal powers or how to develop them!

More importantly, Wylan doesn't want the soul alchemy undone, so he'll lie and fight his way into preventing it.]

I'm sure. Leave me alone.

[schrodingerscockroach]

I got eight casts to experiment with.

If there's no magic, Magic Drain won't do anything so I guess I can just do it, no harm, right?