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[nilhilistic]

[ there is a man with very pale hair and red eyes, addressing the network stiffly. ]

Greetings. I am a new arrival to this world. I will assist to the best of my ability.

However, I must ask . . . is it true that we must be . . . touching? What does that mean? What level of touch is acceptable?

Are there tiers of touch? Surely, someone must have worked out a system.

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[tireurdelite]

[Alcryst gently closes his hand around Nil's fingers. It's not exactly the normal way to hold hands, but it'll do.]

About what?

[nilhilistic]

About . . . hand holding.

I held Nel's hand. It was . . . so cold. Every day, for a thousand years. I would wake, reach for her hand and pray. If not today, then tomorrow, I told myself. She would wake. When she did, I let go.

I couldn't bear it, to wonder if her hands were still cold.

[tireurdelite]

-I'm so sorry.

[His first impulse is that Nil needs a hug but that would possibly be the opposite of helpful right now.]

I wouldn't want to hold anyone's hand either, after that.

[nilhilistic]

Perhaps it's only fitting that I suffer the consequences of it. Nel is alive. That is enough. Anything more is pure hubris on my part.

[tireurdelite]

[Well, that just makes Alcryst squeeze his fingers a little.]

She's alive now. You can move forward.

[nilhilistic]

What is there to move forward to?

[ his world is dust by his own hand. it is miraculous enough that nel still wants him in her life. how can he go beyond that? ]

[tireurdelite]

You're here. You can help this world. And you can meet new people - you're not alone any longer.

[nilhilistic]

These people do not know me. If they did, I doubt they would be so welcoming.

I will help because I gave my word I would do so. But I am not so foolish to believe there is more for me.

[tireurdelite]

You might end up surprised.

[Alcryst certainly has been.]

[nilhilistic]

It is possible.

[ he can acknowledge that. ]

But I will not have hope of it.

[tireurdelite]

That's alright.

[Alcryst will befriend him. He doesn't have to tell Rafal he's doing it, if Rafal would rather not think about such things.]

-How does the handholding feel?

[nilhilistic]

. . . Your hand is warm. I did not know it could be.

[tireurdelite]

So is yours. It's nice.

[Holding Rafal's hand - fingers? - is nice.]

[nilhilistic]

There is no need to flatter me so.

[tireurdelite]

I don't really flatter people?

[Maybe the other Alcryst did, but when this Alcryst says something, he means it.]

[nilhilistic]

Then what is the point of telling me my hand is nice?

[tireurdelite]

You thought that people wouldn't want to hold your hand. But it's nice.

[nilhilistic]

[ he doesn't know what to say to that. he's not nice. there is no well of compassion, no deep seated urge for empathy. he is a worthless king of an empty throne. ]

Hm. Perhaps.

[tireurdelite]

...I'm sorry, have I made it awkward? I do that all the time...

[Clearly he is the awkward one and Rafal is fine.]

[nilhilistic]

Yes.

[ thanks, rafal. ]

But it is not your fault entirely. And your intentions are . . . pure.

[tireurdelite]

[Visibly winces, and is about to apologize again when Rafal goes on. -oh, okay.]

Well - well, the most important thing is you not turning into a statue. Awkwardness might be the price to pay.

[nilhilistic]

Oh?

You don't think I could have managed a hand hold with someone?

[ he is teasing, a little. it's not wrong to believe that. rafal is not the most personable. ]

[tireurdelite]

Th-that's not what I meant to imply! Of course you could have found someone besides me, it's just - I'm reassured since I know for certain you'll be fine for a while?

[Nailed it.]

[nilhilistic]

. . . You are a strange one, Prince Alcryst.

But not unwelcome, I suppose.

[tireurdelite]

I've been called much worse, so that's basically a compliment.