ellipsanet | [Video] un: runyu

[ Just the people.

Having his hand cradled between two warm palms has him sigh as Xingchen rubs his fingers. It's not too warm, for someone who craves heat but knows better than to seek it. ]

She did. She was treated horribly by Father. Eventually...she died to save me.

[ The Dream Beast coos at him, then again at Xingchen as it butts up into that affection. ]

He has a good heart.

[Then he will continue to encourage those fingers to warm! Xingchen sighs sadly and brings Runyu's hand to his chest.]

You are hurt, my friend. It will take time for you to mend, but I believe you can do it.

[He smiles at the cute sound and rubs the Dream Beast's cheek.]

As do you. Someone wicked wouldn't regret what was done.

[ A brittle, mocking laugh escapes, directed solely at himself. ]

Maybe here, though I know I do not deserve it. It doesn't change the fact I only have my Dream Beast and one attendant back home. No one else wishes to be near me if they don't have to be.

I isolate myself because it is my punishment.

[Xingchen hates that sound. It pierces his heart like jagged pieces of glass.]

I'm not a Dream beast or an attendant. I'm your friend and I'm choosing to be near you. I think you deserve a second chance.

[His furry ears perk up.]

You won't convince me to stay away completely.

[ How he wishes he could know this man in his world! Or be in Xingchen's world.

Maybe it's the force of his passionate anger at himself, maybe it's the warmth he feels at this man's decision to stay close, but suddenly he finds himself...shift. But not into his normal dragon form. No.

He sprouts fur - silver fur streaked with black and Xingchen will find himself with an armful of cat. Oops? His eyes go wide in obvious shock and unease has him freeze. But no claws dig into Xingchen's soft flesh. ]

[The sudden change is precisely what happened to him! He had been thinking about Zichen and the friends he had made in this world and then he felt the magic beginning to work. All it had required is him giving permission.

Xingchen is quick to act, cradling Runyu and keeping him safe. What a cute cat! He smiles a little and then speaks calmly:]

Don't be frightened. If you want to change back, remember your body. I think about my arms and legs personally. Think about walking and standing.

[ He hadn't even been thinking about it! Maybe the magic had taken the lack of protest as permission? The thought has the long fur floof before he lets himself slowly relax in Xingchen's arms.

For once, he feels safe. So he doesn't immediately think of shifting back, instead curling close as the Dream Beast sniffs at him. ]

It's alright... [ He'd thought those words, and out they come! ]

[Xingchen is delighted to have an armful of cat! He grins at the Dream Beast and gently - very gently - strokes over Runyu's back. The soft fur demands it!]

You're not in any danger. [And he is fond of hugs, so this works out well for him.] Isn't he a handsome cat?

[That question is posed to the Dream Beast.]

[ To not just be allowed to curl in close like this when not in human form, but encouraged and held close, is incredible for him. The stroke over his back startles a rumbling purr and he arches into the hand.

Only to bury his face against Xingchen's chest at the reassurance and the praise!

The Dream Beast coos in a way that sounds far too much like laughter and Runyu doesn't have to look over at the silly, sweet creature to know it's clearly happy. ]

[The purr is sweet and Xingchen gives Runyu exactly what he wants, rubbing over his back and gently itching behind those cute ears. Then he has a face against his chest and he laughs softly.]

I think he likes you as a cat. [He croons at the Dream Beast and coaxes him to snuggle too. There's room!] Don't be shy. I won't bite.

[ Acceptance. That's what he's finding from this sweet man. It makes his heart ache, but not with pain. Runyu lets his instincts guide him, pressing almost hungrily into the petting and his ears and tails twitch and sway this way and that as the rumble continues.

The Dream Beast leaps up and does a silly little dance before wiggling eagerly into Xingchen's arms, butting gently up against Runyu. ]

He's always been affectionate.

[He knows a happy cat when he sees one! Xingchen lets instinct guide him, showing Runyu affection because it feels right. He had thought seriously about gathering the other man into his arms before now, but like this, at least, Runyu has nothing to be ashamed about.

The dance has him laughing and he welcomes the sweet creature with a kiss on his forehead.]

There is nothing wrong with being affectionate.

[ It's somehow easier to accept like this. To not pull away, so as to punish himself by holding back from something he wants. Xingchen is so giving, so warm. He leans into the affection and rubs his face against the Dream Beast's in answer. ]

I need to be kinder to him.

I suggest you be kinder to yourself, too. [Xingchen snuggles both of his new friends, making sure his lap is as comfortable as possible.] Holding yourself accountable is admirable and right, but torturing yourself for the rest of your days is cruel.

Being kinder to others is...easier than to myself. My desires are too selfish, and I have the power to make them come true. Torturing myself for it makes sense if it saves others from me.

My desires are selfish too. That is entirely normal. [He tilts his head and peers into Runyu's cute face.] Instead of torturing yourself, why not pursue them in small amounts?

[ Anxiety hits him then. He squirms away and focuses on the directions Xingchen had given him in returning to human form...then goes a little further. Mostly human, except for a long, elegant dragon tail that curls hesitantly around them. ]

No one accepts my nature, Xingchen. [ He tells the mortal quietly, not looking at him. ] Not really. I show parts of myself, and they recoil. My younger brother accepted me enough to try to protect me, I know that now. It just never was enough. So I never showed all of myself to him, he's never seen my full form. And Father never liked acknowledging that I'm eldest, because it would get him in trouble with his wife. Which was bad for me.

[Xingchen watches, worried and yet...waiting. The appearance of the dragon tail takes his breath away and he hugs the Dream Beast, his eyes wide. He has never seen a jewel half as lovely!]

Why? [He hesitantly touches the tail, petting the scales softly.] There must be a reason. Is it because they fear you? Dragons are mighty.

[Understanding dawns on him and he murmurs:] Were they afraid of your father? You seem very...gentle...to me. I don't understand the fear.

[ He'd fully expected Xingchen to join in the masses of recoiling at the sight of his tail. Instead, the kind man actually reaches out and strokes gently over some of his scales. It steals his breath away and he has to swallow as his cheeks pink.

Then sigh. ]

They fear me now. For good reason, though I haven't allowed myself to do anything wicked in centuries. I...our true forms follow bloodlines. My brother is a phoenix, after his mother. I am Father's first born, and so only I could be a dragon. Father was the Heavenly Emperor before me, Xiao Xingchen.

[ Congrats on snuggling said Heavenly Emperor! ] But it was Mother, Father's wife, who would cause trouble if I was shown too many favors above her son.

[Who could recoil from such exquisite scales? If they feared a dragon, he could understand such a reaction, but Runyu is...gentle. Xingchen wants to comfort him. His hand rests, warmly, on the scales and he frowns at the sigh.]

You're... [Not only a god, not only a dragon, but...the Heavenly Emperor? He remembers Runyu's earlier request and somehow keeps himself from bowing with his forehead to the floor. But his heart beats wildly against his ribs nonetheless.]

She should have acted as your guardian. If I had one natural son and one adopted son, I would see no difference between them. They would be mine to protect and raise.

[ All his life he's been taught to hide what he is, or be punished. It was an early lesson that's difficult to shake, even more so since it's only been built upon. To still have someone touch his scales so gently...

He hears the hesitation when he reveals just who he is. Hears how that heart races. Can almost feel the effort Xingchen makes to keep from abasing himself. The success of the latter means more to him than he can express. ]

She was a jealous bird. She really did love her son. It just came out in ways that weren't always best for everyone. You are far better and kinder a person, any child that you claim would be blessed.

[Xingchen feels he must be mad to...dare...what he does next, however he can't stop himself. Runyu's story tears at his heart. For all the times Xingchen had wanted a family - maybe a brother or sister - he never imagined abuse in the scenario. The pain that must cause a child is...

It must last a lifetime. Yet he wants to dampen the sting, to smother the loneliness, so he inches closer and then slides his arms around Runyu.]

[ Runyu still loves his brother. Can't help it, Xufeng is genuinely kind and would play with him. But even Xufeng never hugged him.

So feeling Xingchen's arms come around him in this form has him stiffen, eyes going wide before he finds himself shuddering and curling into the selfless affection. He doesn't deserve this man's friendship, no matter how much he's finding he craves it. He holds to this form tightly this time, eventually his arms creep around Xingchen to carefully hold on. ]

[He had left his Master to help people. Why can't that include a Heavenly Emperor? If what he can give comforts Runyu, Xingchen will be generous with his affection. It's not as if he doesn't enjoy the contact too!

He might enjoy it a little too much, but he knows, deep down, he is lonely as well. The arms coming around him make him smile and he touches Runyu's hair softly.]

The world doesn't have to be cold.

[ Right up until he'd met JinMi and then discovered she wanted his brother instead, he wanted only to help people. He'd never wanted more power until he decided being unstoppable was the only way to have her.

He lets himself lean on Xingchen now, to enjoy the warmth the other so easily offers him. ]

My nature is water. Warmth has always been denied to me.

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