text; un: spinjockey

[nugrass]

so
in light of a few different posts
i've gotten kind of curious.
i wanna know what age everyone is, i think
i know there are kids here. there are folks that are centuries old, too.
so what's the spectrum? the range?
how old are you?

and as an extra treat for both the folks who are just learning what the internet is
and for the kids :)
especially if they reply here :)
PLEASE. :)
here's some internet tips.

1. stay anonymous.
don't post identifying bullshit all over the web where everyone can see it
you don't have to use some amazing nickname that no one will ever guess
but at least TRY to keep yourself safe okay?
go use the search engine and look up "how to post anonymously on ellipsanet" if you're having a hard time keeping in all your personal info.

2. don't go meet someone offline unless it's in a public location.
i can trust the majority of you guys to be cool
but i also wouldn't put it past some of yall to try and beat the shit out of a teenager for saying something stupid on the internet.

actually that reminds me

3. don't take the internet seriously.
this one is important for the adults cause there ARE kids here.
if you read something stupid that pisses you off
who's to say it wasn't posted by some ten year old
right?




ok serious post over, everyone tell me you're a 400 billion year old evil spirit or something.

Comments

UN: Yuki

[applehearted]

Isn't it a bit hypocritical to say not to post personal information and ask for a person's age all in the same post?

Also, I think a good portion of people already posted enough about themselves during that 'hot or not' game. Not that a lot of that really matters when you're in another world.

[nugrass]

i never said anyone has to tell me the truth.

[AKA, he didn't think of that.
He got so wrapped up in worrying about all the teens out there that he didn't stop to think about that.]

look
what's important is hiding stuff that lets people just go out and FIND you
selfies, locations, your full name, stuff like that!
you can't go find someone through the phonebook with just an age or something

[applehearted]

There's not really much of a point to asking for ages if you're expecting people to lie.

And honestly, do they even have phonebooks here...

[nugrass]

well
maybe it's all a ploy to teach them to lie!
YOU don't know my motivations :)

[. . .]

actually
now that i think about it
lying on the internet is an important skill anyway.
one that tons of people o b v i o u s l y don't know how to do
let's pretend that was my plan all along
and that i didn't just start thinking about something else entirely in the middle of making a post.

Text | un: Pantsonpyre

[localweirdo]

Do you want me to be honest or lie?

As much as I hate to be dishonest, I am new to the idea of 'internet'.

[nugrass]

[Give him a second to just look incredulously at the username matched up with the message.]

yknow
something tells me you don't hate lying as much as you say.

but you do what you want
i ain't a cop
i can't tell you what to do
what option sounds more fun to you right now?

[localweirdo]

No, I don't but it depends on the situation!

But I'm 17 year olds and I used to own a funeral parlor back home. Of course, I live among people who are thousands of years old who like to create chaos such as decorating statues with clothing and occasionally making them as pets!

[Of course, that is what she does when she's feeling a little bored but.....]

[nugrass]

hmmm
hmmmmmmmm

should i count this as a lie? or do you want me to think you're telling the truth?
cause we'd be in the same business if you're telling the truth you know
well sort of.
we both deal with folks after they die
that's close enough, right?

un:soupmachine

[doiteventually]

As a demon, my lifespan is far greater than humans can imagine. Despite my youthful appearance, I have lived for the unthinkable lifespan of 27 years.

[nugrass]

oh my god
so old and wisened
a staggering 6 whole years older than me
(technically)
(ive been this age for a few years tho)

mind if i ask you a question?

[doiteventually]

You just did, but I'll let you have one more.

[nugrass]

fair jab, i'll give you that one
but it's about your username
soupmachine.
that's so specific
are you just a big fan of soup?
is it something you eat a lot?
did you deal with a Soup Incident at some point??

[Hopefully she didn't expect anything meaningful. He's not great at meaningful questions.]

UN: Flamesofrebirth

[tabulacombusit]

I’m not EVIL

[The rest wasn’t too far off though.]

[nugrass]

no one is, hun
it's just a fancy word we use for people we don't like too much.

how's being older than the universe treating you by the way?

[tabulacombusit]

It is very confusing. There are many rules I am expected to know that I do not have the context for.

Did you know you that it is only appropriate to sit at someone else's table in a restaurant if the tables are rectangular? I didn't!

un: fuckclickers

[cordyceptic]

soooo you want to know how old we are in the same post that you tell us not to give out information?

dude, come on.

[nugrass]

I KNOW, I KNOW
look
sometimes you get carried away when you're writing something on your phone
and since the screen's so small you forget what all you already wrote
and you just get so confident that it's a good post
that you post it without reading it.

i'm not good at this thinking thing but at least i'm TRYING

[cordyceptic]

[ she totally laughs for a minute before replying ]

I've made way worse mistakes, don't worry. Never fun to realize you were being a dumbass. [ (affectionate) ]

But seriously, isn't it going to be hard to get to know people if we don't, you know, say anything about ourselves? I've never been on the internet before but I know how meeting people works. [ She's pretty cagey about some things, like TRAUMA LITERALLY 40 HOURS UNSKIPPABLE, but stuff like her age? What's anyone gonna do with that? ]

un: GRTEXPLSNMRDRGDDYNMT

[katsuking]

Those tips suck. Just let morons learn the hard way.

[signed, a teen who met with a stranger on the internet and got his ass kicked]

[nugrass]

no can do, angry hero kid
if i hear some cocky teen ends up dead out in the flower yard cuz they can't make nice with the ancient powerful forces around here
and they're dumb enough to go posting their face everywhere or whatever
like we have ALREADY SEEN
i will go absolutely ballistic.
just completely off the rails.

and "cocky teens" includes you
mr. "insults everyone the moment he gets the chance".

[katsuking]

Don't you dare start worrying about me just because of my age. I can't stand that kind of shit.

text; un:kalim

[warmwelcomes]

I'm 17!

But... Do you think this network is really that untrustworthy? I know there's been a scary post or two, but I think that most people here are pretty friendly and reasonable. I've made so many friends, and everything's been fine when we meet in person.

[nugrass]

i can't say for sure if the network as a whole is untrustworthy
but what i do know is
with the folks here grabbing anyone and everyone from any damn universe they please
there is a non-zero chance that we are going to get some real bad apples among us.
and some of those bad apples are gonna be some real powerful folks.

[. . .]

also
you wouldn't happen to be the kalim that nenonen keeps talking about
would you?

[warmwelcomes]

I wonder about that... I'm not really sure there's such a thing as a bad apple. I mean, for people. I think that sometimes the apples just get a little lost along the way. And I'd prefer to not have to be so wary of everyone I'm talking to just because of a concern like that.

Oh! That is me, though! You're a friend of Nenonen's, too?

[Also, they keep talking about Kalim? Awwww! That makes him so happy to hear.]

text; un: shinkirou

[kingside]

You're at least two weeks too late, but I appreciate the effort.