un: kantera, text

[happydreamed]

A question of extreme importance and urgency:

What is your favorite color of cat? Please include pictures.

[It is not, in fact, important or urgent. He just wants people to post pictures of cats.]

Comments

[happydreamed]

[Kantera wants to tell him he isn't bad for hurting people on accident but - he doesn't think he'd believe him. So he hugs MK more tightly instead.]

For my part, I am glad that we met, and that you're a part of my life.

[noodleboi]

I feel the same. I'm glad you're part of my life too.

I know you wanna tell me I'm not bad. That I'm good. And I want to be. But that doesn't help change what I feel. Like if I told you you're a good person it won't change how you feel about yourself.

...And I...I help people. I make friends because when I do, it helps me not feel empty inside. It's all I can do to try and fill the emptiness but it's still there. It's always there.

[happydreamed]

You read my thoughts exactly.

[He knows better than to say them out loud when that's not what MK needs to hear.]

I hope... I hope that one day, we might be able to believe it when our loved ones tell us that we aren't bad. But that day may be far off.

[noodleboi]

I'd like that but you're probably right.

[He sighs and keeps hugging Kantera.] ...At least we understand. Even if we don't agree with each other but we understand. That means something. Right?

[happydreamed]

Right. It helps, to have someone who understands, and doesn't just tell us that we're wrong about ourselves.

[They mean well, but they don't understand Kantera's feelings.]

[noodleboi]

I think they see something in us we can't see but they don't get it. You do. We do.

[MK pulls back from the hug.] Wanna make that compote now? I think we both need something to just...do.

[happydreamed]

-A distraction does sound helpful right now.

[but I don't wanna RP out explaining a compote recipe so blah blah blah instructions go here]

[noodleboi]

[Yeah no. They make the recipe and MK makes some baked chips or something to try with it. Soon they are sitting with their food and giving their successful compote a taste.]

Oh this is super good. Hmmm. You weren't kidding.

[happydreamed]

I thought you would appreciate it. Especially good for the peach enjoyers in your life.

[noodleboi]

Wukong is going to love it. [He happily takes another bite.]

I'm so making this for him. Knowing him, he'll eat it with peach chips.

[happydreamed]

'Tis quite convenient when the people you want to spoil have a signature favorite food. It makes it far easier to decide what to make them.

[noodleboi]

It really does. I like it when things aren't complicated. I don't...really like to think too hard on stuff.

[happydreamed]

I feel somewhat similarly. Especially when it comes to making people happy - the simpler that is, the less likely I am to fail at it.

[noodleboi]

Oof. That's the mood. I feel that in my bones.

...I think that's why I messed up so bad with Macaque. He's so complicated and I don't help that. At all.

[happydreamed]

He does seem a complex person, and people are already complicated by nature. -Do you mind if I ask what the argument was about?

[noodleboi]

Lately he's been acting different around me. Usually he teases me. Calls me Kiddo. But he's been so distant. He only shows emotion when he's mad at me. He says he's going through something but won't tell me anything.

I'm scared he doesn't care about me...because he's over Wukong. It's like maybe he...only liked me because he liked Monkey King. And...I spiraled. I said it feels like he doesn't care anymore. He says he does. I said it didn't feel like it.

We yelled. I punched him. We...both said really mean things. And haven't talked since.

[happydreamed]

That sounds awful, for both of you. I admittedly have only recently met him myself, but...

[He's seen that Macaque does care, deeply, about other people.]

I think... if you apologize, he'll listen. As hard as that may be for you, and even though you have every right to feel hurt - if neither of you apologizes, you may continue to be distant forever, and that would be far too painful.

It feels awful, when someone you care about keeps secrets from you. But he doesn't like other people to fuss over him, even when he's in a bad state, and you - you see someone hurting and you try to help them, 'tis in your nature. So I can understand why he wouldn't want to tell you.

[noodleboi]

I want to apologize. But...I'm starting to think...what if I'm bad for him? What if being distant is a good thing?

I'll always help him if he needs it. And I know he'll help me but...maybe that's what is better. I pushed him too fast. He told me he needed to go slow and I said I got it but I think I lied. I didn't mean to but I think I did.

He'd finding people who are good for him. Who he cares about a lot. And if they make him happy without it being all complicated...or as complicated...maybe that's just how it should be.

[happydreamed]

-MK, if you believe nothing else of what I say, believe me on this:

The people he's surrounding himself with at the moment are extremely complicated.

[noodleboi]

Complicated in the way they are almost just like his best friend and ex he loved like for hundreds of years?

They might be extremely complicated but are they like THAT complicated?

[happydreamed]

-Not that specific variety of complicated, but 'complicated to the point that shattering their soul was a very real concern he had a few days ago' complicated.

[noodleboi]

Shattering whose soul now?

[happydreamed]

-Don't tell anyone I told you this, but Korone. There was an ordeal, I was also involved, Macaque and I both ended up very severely wounded, trauma was dug up for everyone, it was an absolute complicated mess.

[noodleboi]

That...holy hell. Are you okay? Red Son...right. He didn't say everyone was...okay.

...I can listen, if you want.

[happydreamed]

Much of it isn't mine to tell. But... as for whether I'm okay...

...I could use another hug.