A Challenge | un: vainglorious (video)

[erschlagen]

Champions of foreign lands and worlds of names I have yet to know–hearken unto me!

[This video starts off with a bang! No, literally. There’s a loud explosion in the background as towering flames suddenly jut out from all corners of the arena forming an orange-red haze around the entire colosseum. For any unfortunate souls here, it’s going to feel hotter than hell but for others just watching from afar; you’re relatively safe for now. Those wild orange flames won’t scorch anyone as long as Rosen has control of them.

Oh, for those of you wondering who’s talking right now–that would be the dapper old bastard with the long flowing hair dressed in bright red and blue tunic standing at the center of the colosseum. Don’t ask how he’s managing to film the entire stunt. He’s just doing what he does best, causing a disturbance. It’s been a little too peaceful here and he’s bloody determined to change all that. If there’s one thing Rosen hates more is peace and quiet.]

Many of you proclaim to be warriors of realms I have yet to explore. Some of you even pretend to be likened to gods all for the sake of vanity and nothing else!

[It’s amazing how this crazed fellow can project his voice. He’s not talking into a microphone or anything. No, he’s literally projecting his voice throughout the entire colosseum over the roar of the fire. That actually takes talent and a lack of shame for being that damn LOUD! Then again, the colosseum has great acoustics.]

Therefore, I challenge you!

[In a flash of brilliant white light, a magical fiery red spear suddenly appears within his right hand. He dramatically points it towards the direction of the camera, making sure that this prized relic is on display for all to see. While it might come into question as of how he’s recording all this, Rosen at least knows how to put on a good show.]

I am called Rosenkrantz, and I formally challenge every capable warrior and legend here to face in armed combat! Only the strong need to apply for those without strength will be turned at the gate!

[He’s not kidding either. If he finds any of you fools lacking, he’ll toss you out of the colosseum on your ass. That is an unspoken rule here.]

With that said, if you seek a worthy challenge–then face me.

[And just like that, the footage goes black.]

Comments

[shear_trigger]

No doubt. Maybe with less capslock but yeah. All this buddy-buddy crap is weird.

[erschlagen]

Look, I understand that we must all work together to help save this world. I truly do understand but they can’t expect us to hand to “hold hands” with strangers to achieve it.

Not everyone is going to work well with each other. That’s just how life is.

[shear_trigger]

[Finally... Someone who understands... Squall is looking at all these parties and people stress-baking cakes for each other and he wants to crawl into a hole.]

I couldn't have said it better myself. Maybe you've got a good idea here instead of just holding hands.

[erschlagen]

[Not even the promise of food lured Rosen to that little shindig. ]

I like to believe I do! In my opinion, the best way to know a person is to see how they fight.

If they fight with valor, then they're worthy of your time. If not--well, you know the rest.

[shear_trigger]

A lot can be said about a person by how they fight.

Alright. Maybe I'll come by if I have the time.

[Shut up, he has more than enough time.]

[erschlagen]

I'll be waiting, maybe. Depends or whether or not my current opponents can keep my entertained long enough.

[So far, the answer is "yes, they can".]

[shear_trigger]

[Okay... He's interested.]

How's the competition been?

[erschlagen]

ROUGH! These folks fight like demons out here!

I’m actually getting tired. That’s a first!

[shear_trigger]

Someone told me they weren't human. Demon blood or something like that.

[erschlagen]

I think there’s some merit to that! Some of these immortals are more demonic than myself.

It’s quite humbling! I didn’t expect to come across this many fantastic fighters.

[shear_trigger]

Are you saying you're a demon too?

[erschlagen]

Well, it certainly wouldn’t be too far from the truth.

Though, what qualifies as a demon around here? Horns and a tail?

[shear_trigger]

I don't know. The other guy who said he was one said he could take bullets with no problem. Can you do that too?

[erschlagen]

...More or less! I mean it would still hurt rather terribly, especially those awful hollow-point bullets.

I heal rather quickly from most injuries but leave my head and cock alone!

[shear_trigger]

[dfkjgdfgd]

Yeah. Noted.

[Cocks are a universal weakpoint, mostly.]

[erschlagen]

Good! Then we have an accord.

Now, when are you going to FIGHT ME!?

[He has a one track mind and his mind is stuck at fighting!]

[shear_trigger]

[Well then!]

When I can stock up on ammo. I ran out the last time I was out in a fight.

[erschlagen]

Oh? Who did you fight? Was it some bloke with blond hair with strange little spectacles on his face?

If so, I fought him too and he can't die.

[shear_trigger]

No...

[Who the hell is that guy though?]

It was against a few creatures out in the woods. I haven't had time to make my rounds fighting actual other people here, yet.

[Har har.]