video; un: maine

[slaughterous]

[ The video opens on a close-up of a truly kick-ass vehicle. It's tough! It's rugged! It's got hooks on the front that look like tusks! Truly, this is one bad-ass—

The video zooms out. The vehicle is tiny. A child could ride in it, maybe. But certainly not an adult.

An extremely gruff male voice mutters, ]

What the fuck.

[ Then a woman's laughter rises in the background. "What, Maine, compensating for something?"

The man grumbles, and the feed clicks off. ]

Comments

[castaside]

I might be able to help with that, if you like. My magic is all sorts of useful.

[slaughterous]

[ The grumble is more thoughtful this time! ]

How?

[castaside]

Um... magic? [ Not a sarcastic reply, he's just not sure where the disconnect is since he's pretty sure he said that already. ]

[slaughterous]

[ A quiet sound that, if they're watching/listening, Wash or Carolina will recognize as, "Ugh, gotta use more words." ]

How's it work?

[castaside]

[ He's pretty sure that this isn't a technical question. ]

Making things bigger, or smaller, is pretty easy. I just have to know how big you want the thing and a little concentration should do it. No wands or anything, even.

Consider it a gift to repay our last interaction. [ Macaque isn't going to deny that he was messing with Maine, but that was before knowing who he was. And then he was a tad protective but, in his defense, it was for a good reason which he isn't going to explain because he promised Wash he'd drop it. ]

[slaughterous]

[ That actually gives Maine pause. He wasn't expecting repayment, as it were. It's not like he was on his nicest behavior, either.

But Wash is dating this guy, so Maine will make An Effort™. ]

Okay.

[ He changes the camera angle to show where he is: the stable at the starter apartments. ]

[castaside]

[ Immediately after the words leave Maine's mouth, a circular inky-purple round thing materializes in midair and Macaque steps through like it was a doorway. ]

How big do you want it? Big enough for you to drive comfortably, I imagine.

[slaughterous]

[ Maine is reaching for a weapon, ready to shoot the round thing, when Macaque steps through.

Thankfully, Maine catches himself in time, pistol drawn but not raised. He makes a tch sound that manages to encompass both frustration and relief, holstering the weapon again. ]

Warning next time.

[ Don't give him a heart attack! Or make him start shooting in public! ]

[castaside]

[ Macaque, for his part, looks nonplussed at being the almost-target of a gun. There's a reason he called that stuff human nonsense. He does blink at the request for a warning. He usually doesn't, but... ]

Fair enough.

[slaughterous]

[ Maine's heart is still beating faster than normal, adrenaline having spiked. But he tries to shake it off as he gestures to the Tiny Hog. ]

Six meters long. Three meters wide.

[ Yes, he knows its exact dimensions. ]

[castaside]

[ That's highly specific, but it shouldn't be a problem. His magic relies more on ratios than measurements so that won't be a problem. ]

Coming right up. [ He focuses for a moment and makes sure there's enough space, then focuses and the vehicle starts growing and growing. After a short moment, it is now at his requested dimensions. ]

--Before I forget, if Wash didn't tell you, I can hear basically everything that happens in the world. A bit less if you're in a bedroom since those have good soundproofing, but unless I have special headphones in, I literally can't help it. Six-Eared Macaque and all. So if it ever seems like I was spying because I know something, that's not intentional. I'll do my best not to eavesdrop. [ Also not a thing he usually promises. He is still going to keep tabs on Wash for safety reasons, but he only listens really well if there's a spike in heartrate or something to indicate danger. ]

[slaughterous]

[ Like a kid at Christmas, Maine immediately brightens. He strides over to pat the vehicle like a long-lost friend, despite the fact that he only stole it a few days ago. It's his badass Warthog now!

He's about to say thanks when Macaque continues. Then Maine listens very closely, knowing he'll need to relay this information to Carolina. ]

… Thanks.

[ Said after a slight pause during which he processes that. Thanks for the vehicle, the explanation, the promise to try not to eavesdrop.

But he's curious now, which shows in how he tips his head, the look in his eyes. ]

How do you filter?

[ There must be a whole lot of junk, hearing everything in the city. How is it more than just noise? ]

[castaside]

[ Normally he prefers to relay this information himself, and only to a very select group of people, so he's making all sorts of exceptions, here. ]

Sure.

[ How does he filter... Macaque smiles. ] Centuries and centuries of practice. And focus. And there are times when I can't, so coping mechanisms. Heartbeats help.

You don't really seem like the yelling kind, but don't fire that gun if I'm too close unless it's really an emergency, it'll knock me for one.

[slaughterous]

[ Speaking of heartbeats: Maine's has calmed right down after that adrenaline spike, now beating strong and steady. (Very strong. Like, damn. This guy is healthy as fuck.)

Maine nods; he won't fire a weapon unless necessary. One more reason to get a warning before Macaque pops in. ]

Don't yell outside emergencies.

[ Even when he's angry, he doesn't need to raise his voice. He can communicate it Just Fine.

But he studies Macaque as he mentions, ]

Wash gets shrill.

[ Especially if he's worked up. How does Macaque deal with that? ]

[castaside]

[ A chuckle. ] He moderates himself around me, and warns me if I need to be warned.

Oh, and. I know that you have to tell Carolina, and any other of your team that arrive, about my hearing, but I ask that you not advertise it beyond that. I don't much fancy being hunted. It's a bother. [ And traumatic but he's not going there. ]

[slaughterous]

[ It seems incredible to Maine that Wash could moderate his screechiness that much. Just one more thing that has changed, he supposes.

At the request, he gives Macaque a searching look. As if trying to figure out how much to say, or if Macaque is joking. ]

Wouldn't, [ he says after a pause. ] Important to Wash. Won't compromise.

[ In other words: as long as Wash cares about Macaque, Maine won't do anything to sabotage him. It's as simple as that. ]

[castaside]

[ It's not a joke, he just prefers to be casual about things that bother him lest any enemies know that they bother him. ]

I appreciate it. Six ears is a bad omen in my culture, so you can imagine how that went.

[ Visually, Macaque has two normal monkey ears. ]

[slaughterous]

[ Maine does note those ears! One and two, right where he presumes they should be. ]

Why?

[castaside]

Why is it a bad omen? [ He'd say "because humans are nuts" but the monkeys weren't wild about him and his extra ears either. ]

Six ears is a phrase that means duplicitous. Because if you're having a private conversation with someone else, you have four ears between you, at least most people do, and someone who is spying on you has the fifth and sixth ears.

In my case it's literally true, so I guess they weren't wrong about the context, but in practice that means isolating and/or trying to kill me.

[slaughterous]

[ Maine hums, taking that in. ]

That way you hide 'em?

[ He can only assume that's more magic. ]

[castaside]

That's why.

[ He unglamours his ears and where there was one ear per side of his head, now there are three. Each pair glowing a subtly different shade of purple. They move like cat ears or wolf ears, flicking forward and then back. ]

I can pretty much change the appearance of anything I want to, and not even most gods can see through the illusion. [ Except Buddha that rat bastard. ] It extends to touch too. Someone could walk right up and touch my ears and still believe there was only one.

[ Sure he can shapeshift but glamours are better for long term use. ]

[slaughterous]

[ Maine studies the ears for a moment before returning his gaze to Macaque's face. A few days of adjustment have made a big difference. He's seen enough nonhumans at this point to not be bewildered by extra ears. ]

Why hide them here?

[ Are people still prejudged in Ellipsa? ]

[castaside]

[ Uh, about that. Maine probably isn't asking for the whole tragic backstory thing, but can probably deduce from Macaque's immediate dropping of anything resembling casualness that there's something behind it. ]

Because being judged for what I am is never fun.

And because I don't like advertising my weakness. [ The aforementioned loud noises in close proximity. ]

[slaughterous]

[ Maine's eyebrows rise at the abrupt shift in demeanor. ]

All right.

[ Spoken in the same tone one might say, Damn, bro. Just a question. ]

[schrodingerscockroach]

[He appreciates you, babe.]