video; un: fruitpunchsamurai

[bombdemon]

[ The video feed opens to... it looks like a park? From what can be seen, anyway, because most of the screen is filled with ducks. ]

[ That's right. There's ducks covering the ground, the bench that the man in the video is sitting on, and even the man himself. There has to be a couple dozens of them at least, but if the incessant quacking is any indication, there may be more behind the frame. ]

[ A couple ducks keep trying to hop off the bench, but the man carefully herds them back with an open hand, apparently determined to keep them nearby. ]

Greetings, citizens! Would anyone happen to be in need of a duck? I, ah, [ a duck perched on his shoulder starts fluffing up and flapping its wings, and he tries to lean away but still gets slapped over the head a few times before he finally raises his free hand to try and cover himself from the onslaught so he can speak without getting a mouthful of feathers ] seem to find myself in a bit of a bind here. I was hoping I could train them, but [ one of the ducks manages to slip off the bench and immediately makes a break for it, agitating the ducks already on the ground that start wandering off in different directions ] they're not listening to me and-- MARGARET, COME BACK!

[ There's some shuffling and the video feed just shows the sky as the phone was apparently placed down in a hurry. There's quacking and sounds of struggle for a few minutes. ]

[ If you're still watching, well, eventually the phone is picked up and Katsura looks like he's just been in a pretty brutal pillow fight. Meaning that yes, there's a bruise on his cheek and feathers in his hair and the neckline of his kimono is a bit askew. There appears to be less ducks around him now, though you may spot some in the pond in the distance, a few in the sky, a mass of them running all over the park... ]

Anyway, as I was saying. Ducks to a good home available today at Central Park! First come first serve, so please make haste, as they are proving to be quite popular. As you can see. [ Tilts the phone to show the now-empty bench, as if that's supposed to prove that somebody came and adopted all the ducks, rather than them all simply ditching him. Which is exactly what happened. You may also spot a Shady Shop duck whistle laying nearby. ] Ducks make excellent pets and are incredibly emotionally intelligent, so do make sure you're serious about the adoption!

[ A duck's face appears in the frame, staring at the screen point blank before quacking with determination. Looks like one stayed with him, at least. ]

That's right, Eleanor! Thank you. There will be an interview in person.

See you soon~

[ (Hijikata either mysteriously does not see this, or still happens to be blocked.) ]

Comments

Immediately Action

[dadbeatdad]

[In a swirl of red smoke and golden sparkles, a man suddenly appears. He is in a white and red suit, looking very much like a fancy clown ringleader, and he is grinning with sharp teeth. He looks right at Katsura.]

Hello! I am here about the ducks.

1/2

[bombdemon]

[ Katsura has been in Ellipsa long enough that someone just teleporting next to him isn't out of the realm of possibility, but he still lets out a girly scream and shields Eleanor with his body before registering what the arrival actually says. ]

2/2

[bombdemon]

...I see. [ He straightens back up again and clears his throat, as if nothing happened. ] What are your intentions?

Re: 2/2

[dadbeatdad]

[The scream doesn't affect Lucifer. After all, the Devil suddenly standing before you is often a terrifying experience for most mortals. He does note the protection of Eleanor. This person is likely a good person.

Well, in Lucifer's mind and assumptions anyway. He looks at the ducks and puts on a cutsie little voice.]

I wanna adopt them and take them back to my Hotel. I will build them a duck pond in the courtyard and feed them every day and people can sit and feed them, pet them, and just enjoy their company~

text; un: Inaban

[dereban]

I hope you're smart enough to make sure that whoever takes the duck doesn't wind up eating them behind your back.

text; un: fruitpunchsamurai

[bombdemon]

I'm not smart enough, I'm Katsura.

[ WHAT WERE ALL THOSE PREVIOUS SPEECHES ABOUT ONLINE SAFETY FORRR ]

That is a valid concern. I will be questioning them about their intentions of course, but that does not prevent somebody from lying. If you have any suggestions I will gladly hear them.

un: 🐉, video

[kerontribution]

Oryou can eat the ones that don't get adopted.

[Oryou no.]

1/3

[bombdemon]

2/3

[bombdemon]

3/3

[bombdemon]

Absolutely not!?

un: happyaround

[roundandaround]

Wow, that's amazing! Why do you have so many?

[bombdemon]

Well, I bought this magic whistle a while ago and that's how I meat Eleanor, [ there's a quack offscreen from, presumably, Eleanor recognizing her name ] but I was feeling a little down and thought it might be nice to be covered in ducks, since they're so soft, but I didn't expect them all to stay, and then I wondered if something different might happen if I used the whistle again--

[ Just how many times did he blow it expecting something different to happen?! Isn't that the definition of insanity? ]

un: emery | video

[turnipstar]

Wow, there's so many of them! And they're so small!

[They are probably normal-sized ducks, her world's ducks just happen to be giant.]

Are you really giving them away though, just like that? It's hard to imagine, after you already named them.

[bombdemon]

[ They are indeed very normal looking ducks! ]

Well, I already have Eleanor [ there's a quack of confirmation from outside the frame ] and while I would love to keep more, I don't think my current living arrangements are, ah, compatible with such a number of pets. I'm hoping to give them away to people who can love them as they deserve, though they... seem to be leaving on their own...

[ He may have just started a duckpocalypse... ]

video; un: aurora

[divineliar]

Hmm... I do like roasted duck.

1/2

[bombdemon]

2/2

[bombdemon]

You are banned from adopting any ducks.

un: CosplayQueen

[leavejapanalone]

They're all so cute! I don't think I can pick just one! But I know that I don't have enough room!

How can you make me pick only just one?

[bombdemon]

You may pick two, then. They should not take up much more space than one, and companionship might in fact make a smaller space more bearable.

action... because not attacking him now doesn't mean not harassing 😔

[impinge]

{ it's a very lucky (for him, not katsura) thing that he isn't working when this post goes up. so far he's only been trying the animal transformation side of the powers here at home, and given his knack for picking up skills it hasn't taken too long to finally get it down.

just in time for this duckastrophe.

he won't change until he's in the park, safely hidden behind a tree, but once in duck form he's going to waddle on over, quacking as loudly as the others to try and infiltrate. the other ducks don't seem to care which is something, but katsura is going to find one of them has suddenly turned on him and has started pecking at his ankles now. }

😔

[bombdemon]

[ it's not a duckastrophe, it's a duckendipity! ]

[ katsura has returned to the bench by now, busy with texting back several potential duck enthusiasts, and does not in fact sense any danger up until he gets pecked. ]

[ he yelps and for now simply tries to move his leg out of the way, presuming that he put his foot on a worm or some other specific place that offended the duck in question. ]

[Action]

[permboy]

[ So he got a call. Seriously, what is he, some kind of babysitter? Apparently.

Really, as he walks over to the park, he's trying to hang onto annoyance so that he doesn't end up getting swallowed by guilt. Although it has been a couple of months now, Kintoki's existence is still fresh in his mind. Sure, he thinks he should be able to leave for a little while without his friends deciding to freak out about it - seriously - but it says something about his importance in the eyes of others. It will probably always be difficult for him to understand, but there's no denying it.

And he thinks about the fact that he and Zura have both found themselves without their usual constant confidants. Now, all they have is each other, and they've been able to spend more time together, yet ... Each time he has chosen to seek Zura out, Zura's reacted with such surprise, that he can't help but feel bad. Is he such a bad friend? Maybe he is.

No, he was supposed to be annoyed to avoid the guilt. Guilt doesn't help, it just makes him hide away. He can't believe he's some kind of babysitter to this idiot!

It's very easy to find the man, at least. All he has to do is follow the ducks. ]

Zuraaa. The hell're you doing?

[bombdemon]

[ Babysitting Sougo, babysitting Zura... he's going to become a full time nanny at this rate. ]

[ Give it a few months, Gintoki! If he keeps showing up, Katsura might just get used to it, though whether or not that is a good thing remains to be seen. An absence after such an overabundance of attention would once again be more painful than it has been in a long time. ]

[ And it is perhaps rather heartbreaking that Gintoki manages to feel guilt even in such a ridiculous, over-the-top situation like this. It's not like Katsura has ever blamed him for the years of their near-estrangement. In fact, back home, he's happy to get the crumbs he does now, fully aware that they both have other things to take care of that often require undivided attenion. Perhaps once their fights are done, they can reconnect more consistently, seek something more, but until then... ]

[ This place has really thrown a wrench into those workings, hasn't it? ]

[ For his part, Katsura looks quite contented on his little park bench, though looks can sometimes be deceiving, along with his smiles. It seems a few of the ducks have deigned to bless him with their company, even if the majority still has ditched him. ]

It's not Zura, it's Katsura. [ He picks up a duck and holds it out toward Gintoki in a wordless offer. That's what he's here for, right? ]

Action

[worshipmytruename]

[A little while after, a burrowing trail of dirt makes its way toward the bench. At a sudden stop, a fuzzy green and horned head pops out of the dirt. Shaking off the soil, the worm-like creature tilts his head to the sound of the ducks.]

Are you the one on the stone offering unruly duck warriors?

[bombdemon]

[ What is this? The dirt trail looks like a mole from a video game, though what bursts out of it has definitely not shown up in any M*rio game he's seen before. Katsura eyes the newcomer with a little bit of suspicion but mostly curiosity. ]

[ It's... creepy but the fuzz also makes it kind of cute? ]

[ In retrospect, he probably could have been more suspicious, but his main takeaway from what the strange Amanto tells him is that they have very similar ideas about what to do with the ducks. ]

It appears so. I was hoping they would be a little less unruly, however. They have the makings of a great army.

[ World domination via ducks? What could go wrong? ]