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[ when the feed starts, bradley's staring directly at the camera with his eyebrows knit together. with barely any grasp of how things work around here, he's been surviving just fine through stealing and intimidation, but there's one thing he won't stand for: eating a meal that consists of only vegetables like some sort of rabbit. so here he is, with a vaguely threatening grin on his face. ]

Listen up: anyone with spices and meat at home needs to tell me immediately or else I'll put a bullet through your skull.


( There's a slightly more distant voice, down the hall— and then the sound of footsteps, coming closer. )

Brad? Who're you talkin' to? ( Nero appears through the doorway, a half-peeled potato in his hand and a sharp knife in the other. ) Are you— The hell? I told you to get me some more veggies, stop tryin' to intimidate the poor kids on your gadget.


I'm the Northern wizard Bradley, Lord of the Night and leader of the bandits of death—-geh.

[ his boastful self-introduction falters the moment nero opens his mouth, jolting in surprise and quickly turning to look at him. he clicks his tongue as if he had just been busted, turning back to look at the camera, sulking. ]

Hey, who's fault is it I'm doin' this in the first place!? You're the one that said you couldn't cook any chicken today 'cause you didn't have enough ingredients for it!

( Nero makes a face as Bradley introduces himself - unlike Bradley, he doesn't want to be perceived. He would sooner die, in fact. Relatedly, he seems to have no clue this thing's still broadcasting. )

And whose fault is it we don't got no more chicken, huh? Look, I gave you a pass and made you all the chicken you wanted cuz we're in a new place and it's freaky, ( so Nero's anxiety is actively murdering him, ) but you need your greens. You're not gonna be much a "Lord of the Night" if your bones snap in half cuz you won't touch the kale.

( The knife whips around in his hand - now it's a proper throwing grip. )

Now get your ass to the store and get me some carrots 'n spinach before I beat it. Or you tellin' me my veggie stew's too bad to eat?


[ he visibly flinches at the very real threat of murder from the guy behind him, raising his arm protectively above his head, yet he continues hissing back. ]

What the hell is a kale!? I'll kill you!

[ he narrowly escapes the knife thrown at him when the feed cuts. ]