un: GRTEXPLSNMRDRGDDYNMT

[katsuking]

[After a heated exchange on the network involving jobs and Katsuki's attitude preventing him from getting one, he decides... that's a challenge. He needs money, but he knows what he's worth!! So he posts this:]

I need money, so I'm looking for a job. Skills include: cooking, lifting up to 200 pounds, demolition, flying up to 100 MPH, violence, combat, quick learning/adaptability, the ability to put up with an impressive amount of bullshit, drums. I have over ten years experience in all of these.

I have an attitude and if that's a problem with you then fuck off. I'm not here to suck up to any employer, I'm here to pay my bills and feed myself so if you want an employee who's not going to fuck around and will take the job seriously then you'd be stupid to pass up on hiring me.

Serious inquiries only, and if you feel the need to tell me that I'm going about this the wrong way don't bother. I'm interested in any job that doesn't involve cleaning up after idiots or flipping burgers for a fast food restaurant.

Comments

un: cherryblossom

[serrulata]

What sort of job do you see yourself doing here, exactly? Surely you have a preference.

If "any job" will do you're only going to get inundated with the worst offers.

[katsuking]

It really doesn't matter to me as long as it pays well. If I get a bunch of shitty offers I'll pick the best from the bunch.


But I guess if I had to pick a job, something like a security guard or a cook would be better. I didn't have to worry about having a boring, normal job back home so I haven't thought about it too hard.

[serrulata]

I see...

[Kids...]

I know a chef. He's a ridiculous gorilla, but he might be interested in hiring someone down the road if you don't find something sooner.

...Anything I offer you would be a poor match.

[katsuking]

A gorilla?

[like an actual gorilla???]

[serrulata]

He's an overly tanned pile of muscle with no shame.

[So no, not an actual gorilla.]

But he's a trained chef. He knows what he's doing when it comes to cooking. I highly doubt he'll keep himself out of a kitchen while we're stranded here.

un: red.son

[forgingfires]

[Strictly speaking, Red Son doesn't need to eat. He just also hyperfixates and meals back home were generally a good way to Stop and take a break. Which is kind of important because he could easily lose track of a week here.]

1. Level of spice you can cook?
2. Are you good at keeping a schedule?
3. Will you kick down a door if not answered when you're scheduled to come?
4. Do you have any qualms with raiding a scrap yard for materials?

[katsuking]

1. Spicy enough to kill someone.
2. I go to bed at nine pm every night and wake up at five.
3. I'll kick down a door for any reason.
4. No.

[forgingfires]

Finally, a mortal who might have decent tastebuds. I don't always need spicy, but I certainly don't want any pathetic attempts at it.

I need one meal a day, with a side goal of pulling me out of a potential project fugue state, thus kicking down the door. When this meal is doesn't matter as long as it's consistent so it can work around other job offers if you decide to take it.

I also plan to go to the scrap yard weekly for parts for projects and the repairs I'm doing for my landlord's other properties. Sometimes I just need metal and the state doesn't matter, I'll melt it down anyway. Sometimes the part retrieval will need to be a little more careful because if I don't have to reforge a whole compressor, the better use of my time.

[katsuking]

So you need an assistant.

[Sounds like an easy job to do between other jobs, though.. and also kind of sounds fun...]

I'll take it. I can cook literally anything and scavenging for scraps will be easy as cake.

[forgingfires]

I suppose that is an adequate title.

I have no allergies, but beef of any sort is forbidden, and food meant to be cold is pointless, I run too hot to appreciate it. Anytime you make something spicy, go for the max level, you won't make anything I can't eat. Otherwise, as long as the food is made well, I can eat anything and encourage variety. I'll let you know if I don't want a certain kind of meal again. Don't leave my kitchen a mess and there is a dish washer.

Also don't worry about fire in my house. Nothing is on fire I don't want to be, and that does include myself. If I'm on fire, I'm probably angry, in which case just give me a few minutes, I'm venting.

I go to the scrap yard on Sundays.[Or whatever counts as a Sunday here. Insert that word here.] Any problems with my terms?

un: kantera

[happydreamed]

Unfortunately, I think my place of work would be a poor fit for you. But I'd be happy to accompany you on a guild quest sometime, you might enjoy one of those.

You can play the drums?

[katsuking]

I'm always down for a quest, and if I do one with you, I'll be literally unstoppable!

[With his healing magic and all that!!]

Yeah, I play them. Technically I'm in a band, but we only did and only planned to do one show.

[happydreamed]

Wonderful. I know I'm in good hands with you.

It must have been quite a show, to only want to do the one.

[katsuking]

It was. We did it for a festival our school was holding... each class had to put on some kind of event and some dumbasses decided we needed to do a concert.

They were lucky I've been playing drums since elementary school, because otherwise they wouldn't have been able to pull it off.

[sangreine]

No one can say you're not honest.

I had you pegged as joining a guild for sure.

[katsuking]

I probably will in the future, but for now I'd rather have a more stable income to rely on than running around the continent doing a bunch of errands.


Last time I did one of those stupid quests I had to take someone to the hospital and cut it short.

[sangreine]

All right, whatever you think is best.

If you did a quest with me I wouldn't need the hospital ever, so if you ever feel like it just let me know.

[katsuking]

I always want to do quests with you, are you kidding? I barely have to lift a finger when you're around.

un:🐺

[at_heart]

[ oooooh boy ]

Which is it tho
High tolerance for bullshit or no cleaning up after idiots no flipping burgers and no sucking up?

[katsuking]

It's a high tolerance for bullshit that I choose to deal with.

[at_heart]

So be more specific
What kinds of bullshit are you in the market for

Anyway I'm starting a guild but I'm pretty sure you already said you wanted something more like
Salaried than that so

[katsuking]

I plan on joining a guild too, just for stuff on the side. I'd get bored if I did that kind of stuff all the time.

I already said the bullshit I'm in the market for. Literally anything besides cleaning and fast food. But I've got a couple of people already interested in my employment, so if you've got something for me you better give me a good proposal.

un: JOE

[melongrab]

Well, since I was already volunteered by that four-eyes...

Name's Kojiro. I'm in the process of getting a business license here to open a restaurant and I'll need help in the kitchen and on the floor.

[katsuking]

So you're Mister Gorilla.

I already heard that your specialty is Italian, so I'm going to guess that's what the restaurant is serving?

[melongrab]

Some, yeah. It's going to be an Italian-Japanese fusion. Some classic to each country, but some fusion style dishes, too.