un: GRTEXPLSNMRDRGDDYNMT

[katsuking]

[After a heated exchange on the network involving jobs and Katsuki's attitude preventing him from getting one, he decides... that's a challenge. He needs money, but he knows what he's worth!! So he posts this:]

I need money, so I'm looking for a job. Skills include: cooking, lifting up to 200 pounds, demolition, flying up to 100 MPH, violence, combat, quick learning/adaptability, the ability to put up with an impressive amount of bullshit, drums. I have over ten years experience in all of these.

I have an attitude and if that's a problem with you then fuck off. I'm not here to suck up to any employer, I'm here to pay my bills and feed myself so if you want an employee who's not going to fuck around and will take the job seriously then you'd be stupid to pass up on hiring me.

Serious inquiries only, and if you feel the need to tell me that I'm going about this the wrong way don't bother. I'm interested in any job that doesn't involve cleaning up after idiots or flipping burgers for a fast food restaurant.

Comments

[forgingfires]

I suppose that is an adequate title.

I have no allergies, but beef of any sort is forbidden, and food meant to be cold is pointless, I run too hot to appreciate it. Anytime you make something spicy, go for the max level, you won't make anything I can't eat. Otherwise, as long as the food is made well, I can eat anything and encourage variety. I'll let you know if I don't want a certain kind of meal again. Don't leave my kitchen a mess and there is a dish washer.

Also don't worry about fire in my house. Nothing is on fire I don't want to be, and that does include myself. If I'm on fire, I'm probably angry, in which case just give me a few minutes, I'm venting.

I go to the scrap yard on Sundays.[Or whatever counts as a Sunday here. Insert that word here.] Any problems with my terms?

[katsuking]

[Honestly........... this all sounds perfect to Katsuki.]

Nope, no problems. I run hot myself so I get it with the cold food. That shit is only good during the summer, anyway.

[forgingfires]

All right. I'll send my address and let me know when you can come over and what you want to make, I recommend something spicy. I'll purchase ingredients for two servings and if the meal passes, then we can iron out what I'm paying you.

[Because he's not going to just believe he can cook good enough for his standards at his word. He has to know what he's buying. Just because he wants the outer presence interrupting his fugue, he values good food too much to accept shoddy meals.]

[katsuking]

Perfect. I'm making a dish called "mapo tofu". And I'll pay for my own ingredients.

[forgingfires]

If you insist. Mapo tofu sounds good.

[katsuking]

You won't get all the ingredients right even if I give you a list.

I can make it tonight, if you're hungry.

[forgingfires]

I used to run a restaurant, I know what quality ingredients are. It's the deep appreciation for food that makes it an effective tool to get me out of the project fugue.

Tonight will work.

[katsuking]

You don't know the brands, or what to buy if they're out of the first choice or the second. It's too much of a hassle to make someone else do my grocery shopping for me and I'm not going to make you pay me back for them either. It'll be taken out of whatever you pay me, anyway.

Give me three hours.

[forgingfires]

If you insist.

I'll make sure to not get pulled into something then.

[And will send his address. He's in the Blossomcrown, so have fun with the cherry blossoms]