un: kantera, voice; cw: discussing the death of a teenager

[happydreamed]

[This is clearly an impulsive post rather than thought out at all - Kantera's voice is quivering, and he stumbles over his words.]

How do I - how does one cope when their loved one returns to their world to their death?

Russell is-

He-

[He takes a moment to swallow the lump in his throat, and continues, more subdued.]

...I don't believe I'm taking it well.



[Kantera will not be bringing up Russell's cause of death unless directly asked, but that goes into cw: suicide territory and will be marked if it happens.]

Comments

voice; un: jean

[rustyhonesty]

You just have to hold on and think about what your loved one would want for you. Most likely they wouldn't want you to break due to their disappearance, right? Even if their disappearance means... the worst.

[Speaking from experience, yeah.]

But you also have to let yourself have time to grief. Don't bottle things up.

[happydreamed]

...He wouldn't, but I know well he wouldn't wish to be mourned at all.

[Being in Ellipsa was better for him - so, so much better - but Russell believing that he deserved to be cared about was still a work in progress. If he'd had more time - if only he'd had more time.]

[rustyhonesty]

Still, I think you should. I know it's not what he would want, but it's better for you and I think ultimately, they would want what's best for you.

[happydreamed]

I will. ...Truthfully, I don't believe I could stop myself if I wished to.

un: happyaround

[roundandaround]

[Death? Rinku's eyes go wide from the airship where she's heading out. She chokes up a little.]

Kantera-san... I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I think he was happy here with you.

[happydreamed]

[That makes two of them that are choked up.]

I hope so - I truly hope so. I would have done anything, anything to give him some happiness.

[roundandaround]

[sniff]

I'm definitely sure he knows you cared! He told me about your world and how nice all the villagers were!

[happydreamed]

I know - I know. If only I could have convinced him that he deserved to be cared about...

[roundandaround]

I wish that too. Everyone deserves to be cared about. And he had so much love in his heart, even if he said he didn't.

un: Levi; voice

[wingbound]

[ Well. Doesn't that strike all too close to home? He's been through that not once but twice, here. Counting also losing them in their world, that's four times, and there's more for those currently still in Ellipsa but dead back home. ]

[ It's all too tempting to say "You don't", considering his own "coping" methods had been... questionable at best, but he's not that cruel. ]

...Try to think of it as more time granted to you, rather than time cut short. However long you got to have him here, it is more than you would have back home. That time was a gift. Hold onto that.

[happydreamed]

I know - having him here was more than I ever could have dreamed of.

Does knowing that make it less painful? Eventually?

[So far it doesn’t seem to be working.]

Voice - UN: Sexington Hardcastle

[livesoutofspite]

...We cope the best we can. Sometimes healthily, other times not.

The pain, I don't know if it gets any better or easier. Try to remember he was here. He was here and he had people who cared. Who wanted him to feel something he didn't get in life. Love. Acceptance. Care. I taught him to ride a bike.

...He...he had a pet rabbit. I made him one. Out of shadows. It should still be at his house. If you think...maybe having it as a reminder. If you want, I mean.

[happydreamed]

Thank you. It means the world to me that he had kindness in his life here.

...I will go pick it up once I can face his home. 'Tis still so empty.

[So much like the dream.]

[livesoutofspite]

He definitely is a minimalist, huh?

I can go with you. If it would help. When you're ready.

[happydreamed]

He wasn't used to being able to decorate his own space. ...In his parents' home, he slept in the bathroom.

[A note of anger rises in his voice, but is just as quickly replaced by exhaustion.]

Your company would help a great deal.

[livesoutofspite]

His parents were pieces of garbage that are better left forgotten.

[Mike replies with his own note of anger.] Then I'll be with you when you're ready.

I'm going to miss him too. A lot.

Voice - UN: The One Who Waits

[the_one_who_waits]

Death is not the end. Death is merely a change. A transition. Death is never the end.

What comes next is hard to say. But Russell, in some way, persists, even away from this place.

[happydreamed]

You would know better than I.

-I hope, dearly - that wherever he is, he is experiencing some small happiness. I wish to believe that's the case.

[the_one_who_waits]

There can be joy in the afterlife. A sense of relief. Of calm. Happiness.

He killed before but sought to not kill further. He mourned the death of his enemies. Buried them. Paid respects.

Atonement was the path he walked and the afterlife may reward such choices.

I believe that too is the case. He is somewhere anew. Full of life. Where he may find solace and happiness.

[happydreamed]

Nothing would make me happier than for that to be the case.

-Thank you. For treating him well. It means the world to me.

[the_one_who_waits]

He treated me well first. I was violent when I first arrived.

His remorse reminded me of guilt. Then when I was cursed, he brought me to you to be cleansed. Healed.

He did not have to show me such kindness. I only wished to return it in kind.

Voice | UN: frieda

[urtitan]

[Frieda already feels alarmed just hearing the start of Kantera's message, and when he says Russell's name, her stomach drops. She needs a long moment to think of how to console him, and even then, it comes out rather fragmented.]

I'm sorry to hear this news. I'll miss Russell.

...

I'm not trying to act like this makes it better, but from talking to him, I feel like he wasn't... unprepared for this possibility.

[The boy seemed to have resigned himself to his fate, but like she was resigned to hers. It's not a happy thing, but there's a sense of calm and certainty to it that, in her mind, beats a desperate scramble for impossible survival.]

[happydreamed]

...It truly doesn't. I would have been happier if he had wanted to cling onto life. Perhaps if he had more time...

[But they'll never know, now.]

[urtitan]

[Oh... she's only making it worse, isn't she? Her tendency towards resignation and moroseness isn't helping. But even with such a pessimistic outlook, there's still a glimmer of hope, isn't there?]

...

There's still a chance he'll return. It's happened before.

[happydreamed]

[Sorry Frieda... He understands where the sentiment comes from.]

He may. One can never rule it out. -Nothing would make me happier, if that were to happen. Just as him coming here to begin with meant the world to me.