ellipsanet | UN: MonkieMan! || Semi-Accidental Audio

It doesn't? ...What was this other monkey's name then?

Hilariously, I don't recall. But that name isn't one that sounds familiar, either. [ It's his mun's fault, the thread paused before proper introductions oops-- ] Anyways, hopefully you've found him. Uh, or he found you. Also, Red Son would likely be happy to see you, if you haven't already found him~

Well I did meet up with Red Son, yeah. And if it's the monkey I think it is now, yeah. We all live together now.

Glad to hear it! I've been told it helps to have a familiar face when one first arrives~

It really does. Do you have any familiar faces around yourself?

Nope. Been here all on my own since I arrived.

[ Which was great at first. Now Iggy misses his family a whole lot more than he would ever admit out loud. He'd sooner choke himself to death than ever say anything. ]

Welllll, a pet from home is here too but I dunno if that counts.

I think that counts, in a way. Yeah. Not like friends but it still counts. What kind of pet is it?

Mmm, didn't have any friends anyways. [ Siblings don't count. Or so he's been told. ] Oh! He's a Chain Chomp. Sorta like a big, metal dog... except he's not that big. Yet! But he will be.

Oh. [That thought makes MK a little sad.]

Well I can be your friend, if you want. And that sounds awesome. Can I see the Chain Chomp maybe? Like how big is he gonna get?

It doesn't bother me! [ Anymore. When he was younger and way more volatile, it used to frustrate him. Now he finds it amusing when people go out of their way to avoid him. Even he knows it's for good reason, he can't even blame them.

So when MK says that, he has to blink. No one has ever just offered to outright be his friend before. Huh. ]

That's like, honestly super cool of you! But uh, I'm not the nicest person. Mostly. [ That's putting it lightly, although to be fair, he certainly isn't the meanest, or the most unkind. He doesn't go out of his way to purposely hurt anyone unless provoked. It's funny, before he arrived here, Junior had asked him if he thought that they were really, truly evil and he hadn't really had an answer for that question. He still doesn't. ] You can! And he's gonna get big. Like... big enough to pull a cart around, or a chariot!

Believe it or not, I have experience making friends with not the nicest people. Red son is a villain and he's my friend. And you seem kinda cool. Breaking and entering with my mentor aside.

[Still so weird to hear Monkey King did that. Oh well.]

Daaaang, that's big. I so gotta see this. We gotta hang out sometime. Have some fun.

Red Son is pretty amusing... [ Is he thinking about his previous trolling about his little girlfriend at home? Absolutely. He's never seen someone turn so red so quickly. ] Oh! Ahaha, yeah, the breaking and entering thing was my fault, to be fair. I was bored, he thought it was my apartment... y'know. The usual.

[ He ignores the fact that breaking and entering is not, in fact, normal. Or "the usual". ]

Yeah! He's pretty small now, but someday soon he'll be huge. He's been pretty quiet though, compared to the ones I usually work with at home. They're usually super aggressive and hard to tame, but this little guy is pretty affectionate...

[ He trails off, because it's true. The little shit hasn't tried to snap any of his limbs off yet... ]

Sounds like he really likes you. That's a good thing, right? You can train him to be a guard chomp. So he can bite other people. It'd be bad if he bit you. Okay. That makes so much more sense about the breaking and entering. I'm sure we could get up to some stuff. I love pranks as much as the next prankster. It's like villainy but no one really gets hurt.

And people's faces are hilarious if we do it right.

He sounds like I'm going to have to put the work in to make him more aggressive, honestly... [ There's a soft, dog like whine on Iggy's end as the Koopaling stares tiredly at the fairly docile Chain Chomp who is... actually rolling around in his sleep, dreaming. ] Oh, I don't have to worry about anyone breaking or entering. I don't actually have anywhere I'm living, I kinda decided to live... outside. [ Because that's ENTIRELY normal! ] But even if I wasn't, I'd hope no one would be dumb enough to try and mess with me like that. I can still use my magic here and make someone's day really, really bad~

[ .....which. makes him laugh again, cackling with absolute glee at the thought of chasing someone out of his non existent home by blasting random magic spells in their direction. ]

Oh, you're also a prankster~? I am, too! As a matter of fact, it's one of my most favorite pastimes, much to the absolute horror of my six siblings~ I am definitely down for pranking anyone and anything whenever you are, my dude!

[Iggy lives...outside?]

Do you like living outside? [Better ask that first. So he can not offend if that's just how Iggy rolls.]

Awww. He sounds so cute. We can totally prank people together then. What kind of pranks would you do on your siblings? And six is a lot. Wow. You got a big family.

No, I hate it. But! There's no way in the Eight Lands that I am going to give all of my hard earned money to the man! No, I'm saving my cash for WAY more useful things than a roof. Besides, it's pretty easy to keep dry when you're a Koopa like me. We've got shells, so, I mean, it's not the most comfortable situation but like, it works!

[ It's not comfortable at ALL, actually. Out of his siblings, he is the tallest and it's definitely a cramped fit, but... it is what it is. For now. ]

He's... something. [ Does Iggy sound a little disappointed? Maybe. But it's also better than having an overly aggressive Chomp. The last time was his own fault, given that he'd left it all on its own in his own personal fortress and hadn't fed it in a while... ] Oh, you know... plastic wrap over toilets, explosives in my youngest brother's favorite tennis balls, personally creating a new 'lipstick' for my little sister that gave her a real good zap when she tried to use it... one of my favorites has to be when I put clear oil all over one of the hallways outside of my quarters. I expected one of my older, meaner brothers to come down the hallway. Turns out that good ol' King Bowser was headed our way instead...

[ It sounds like Iggy can hardly contain his laughter at the memory, the way he suddenly snickers and snrrrrks-- ]

...you know what they say! The bigger they are, the harder they fall, and BOY did he fall! Flat on his face, RIGHT outside my bedroom door! I had cameras set up to snap photos from every direction, too -- oh man, I thought he was gonna set me on fire for sure! AHAHAHAHAHA!

[ And there he goes, cackling madly despite the fact that, at the time, even though it had been hilarious and YES he had most certainly laughed in Bowser's face, he'd also had to run for his life and hide from the flames of absolute fury. He'd also been forced onto bathroom cleaning duties again... ]

Oh! Yeah, big family. I'm the middle child, but like, you know... what can you do~? I've got five brothers and a little sister.

[Iggy's laughter is infectious. Some of those sound so funny. Hearing about this King Bowser guy makes MK laugh a little harder.]

Ooooh man. That's so good. I hope you kept all the pictures. Heh. I wouldn't know. I'm an only child. I mean, it's complicated. But anyway.

Hmmm. So you don't want to pay rent? Could you not just build your own place then? Like a house or a cabin or a van or something?

I did! They're all in a special photo album, in fact. The ones that Lord Bowser didn't find and burn, at least~

[ Including the ones of his horrified siblings faces, and also one of himself actually taking the time to dab directly next to his fallen King-- ]

Bro, you are definitely NOT missing out on anything. Siblings are overrated! [ Says the young man who most definitely misses his. ] Oh, Red Son is actually supposed to be helping me build a castle! I'm gonna take this place over as my own and rule it as King, and then when my stupid family shows up, I'm going to rub it in their faces how lame they are that they couldn't do it. And then when Lord Bowser shows up and inevitably takes it away from me, he'll probably praise me and then ask why I haven't actually done anything this useful at home! To WHICH I will reply, I don't know, but I tried!

[ He has this whole thing entirely planned out, word by word, step by step, in his demented little head. Including laughing his head off at all of his siblings except for Lemmy. And maybe Junior, and only because Junior is really loud when he gets mad. ]

[Oh great. Another friend with goals of world domination. Why is it MK keeps finding these? Oh well. He already offered to be Iggy's friend. MK isn't a quitter. No backing out now.]

Red Son is super busy with his new project. So that probably isn't happening for a while. But I can help you build a castle, if you want. I build mechs back home and I need to practice my building powers anyway.

And wow you really thought this through. I mean, the end part. Not so much the world domination part.

[ Hey, man. He warned you he wasn't a good person! Anyways, at least he doesn't have "daddy issues" like another certain friend of yours-- ]

I haven't even seen or spoken to him in like, ages... good to know he's busy doing something he likes, though! We arrived at the same time and we hung out once or twice, he seemed pretty cool. Thanks! Ah, but wait, you build mechs too? I've built a couple myself at home! Granted ,they're probably a little different than the ones you're used to building, given that mine are for, y'know. Mass destruction and the such.

[ 'Mass destruction' is putting it lightly, but at least they were really only ever used to try and stop a couple of idiots in red and green and a few Yoshi's. Too bad they didn't hold up very well. ]

That's all I do is think. My brain never turns off, even if I want it to~ [ The pros and cons of being a genius. ] Yeeeeah, the world domination part is gonna be a little tricky. But I'll get there! And hey, I can promise to you that when I'm in charge, there won't be a single boring moment in this dumpster fire of a world! Everyone is gonna love it!

[ Because being lorded over by an evil, maniacal genius sounds FUN, doesn't it? ]

Anyways! Your friend told me that Red Son likes racing and the such, do you like that sorta thing too? At home, we had tournaments and I was thinking that it'd be kinda cool to like, make our own Karts or something and hold a tournament of our own someday!

Yeah! My mechs are more for saving the world kind but yeah. I mean if I can build a mech, we can totally build a castle. And I know what it's like to just not be able to turn off your brain. Sucks when you really want it to turn off too. Makes it hard to sleep. But a kart racing tournament sounds like so much fun. We totally gotta do that.

If you help me build it, you can definitely live in it with me~ It'll be huge, and we'll arm it to the teeth so when we inevitably kidnap someone, no one can rescue them!

[ Y... yay? ]

Yeah, it does suck, but also it helps when it comes to getting things done. Who needs sleep when there's stuff to build and things to do and pranks to put together, right~? Kart racing is super fun, I wonder if we could drag others into it? Make it a whole thing... hmmm...

I mean, fair. I already got a place but having a backup is a good idea.

[Oh MK. If only he knew how much he might need a backup later on.] And I know at least Red Son will race. He loves races. And there's enough people here who would be interested. We only need, what? Eight people or so? That should be easy.

Backup plans and places really are always a good idea~

[ Which is definitely why he's decided to be a weird hobo for the time being. What a great contingency plan. ]

I'm sure that there could be something to wager to get more people interested. Y'know, other than the intense, crippling boredom this lovely place has so graciously offered to us.

Then we got a castle to build and some karts to make. And if you want, we could go on the quests together. Like the exciting, dangerous ones. Then we won't be bored at all.

UN: MonkieMan! || Semi-Accidental Audio

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