Text | un: Pantsonpyre

[localweirdo]

Hello everyone!

Let me ask you a question so I can get to know you all. Just out of curiosity, which do you prefer? Cats, dogs? Birds? Or even a hillicurl?

Please do enlighten me and give me a reason! I can't wait to hear your answers!

Comments

[goodboygonebad]

Isn't that just threatening people?

[localweirdo]

Not at all!

Wouldn't you want to plan ahead when you don't know what will happen?

[goodboygonebad]

My life's not usually in that kind of danger on a regular basis.

[localweirdo]

Even so, you never know!

What do you say?

[Especially when you need the money!!]

[goodboygonebad]

I'd say I wanna see the contract before I sign it.

[localweirdo]

Then you shall once I figure out how to set up my business here!

But at the moment, I have barely started on it. I was hoping you would join me before the parlor gets running.

[goodboygonebad]

And I'm assuming I'd get backpay?

[ We don't work for free around here. ]

[localweirdo]

Of course! Once you work for me, I'll make sure you get paid well. It is my promise!

[After all, she has the patience to handle Zhongli always forgetting his wallet and her having to pay for his expenses at times!!]

[goodboygonebad]

Alright, deal. I got some other part time jobs though, and practice, so we'll have to talk about my schedule when we sign a contract too.

[localweirdo]

Very well!

I'm so excited, I have my first employee here! I'm dying to have you a part of the funeral!

[goodboygonebad]

I'm gonna need to develop a whole new sense of humor, aren't I.

[localweirdo]

You sure will! If anything, you'll be gravely surprised at how many I can come up with!

[RIP]

[goodboygonebad]

It's all just old man jokes from here on out, I can feel it.

[localweirdo]

Which means you better start making jokes of your own!

Do you think you can handle that?

[goodboygonebad]

If this is my first assignment, sure. I can think up some bad jokes.

[localweirdo]

Such as?

You think you make me laugh? I would like to see you try!

[goodboygonebad]

[ Oh no a pop quiz. ]

What would you put on the tombstone of boiled water?

They are mist.

[localweirdo]

[....]

Now that is rather grim. Wouldn't it be better to say they are down to the bone?

[goodboygonebad]

Sorry, it was the first one to come to mind.

[ He tried!! ]

[localweirdo]

Nonsense, you tried your hardest! I figured you would say something to add onto what I said!

...Do you want to though?

[goodboygonebad]

I think it might be better if I saved up my energy for in person.

[localweirdo]

Are you sure?

Don't you want to keep on practicing to make sure you can handle it?

[HMMMMMMMMMMMMM????]

[goodboygonebad]

Pay me enough and I can handle most anything.

[ Said the foolish boy before his death by puns. ]

[localweirdo]

You sound so confident and yet, I'm not so sure.

Will I regret my choice in hiring you?

[goodboygonebad]

It hasn't even been five minutes??