text ❥ un: anonymous

[dereban]

I wasn't sure if I wanted to write this post or not, but at the end of the day, I wound up posting anonymously.

So, long story short: I want a girlfriend.

I keep winding up with male partners that I want to have a female partner for once in my life but then I realize my issue here: I don't have any female friends in this world.

TL;DR? Please send help and advice.

Comments

[dereban]

Maybe with someone I knew very well, but as a way to introduce myself to others and vice versa? No thanks.

...I only have one friend in this world and he's already introduced me to his other partners, but I don't know if he knows any other girls besides his sister.

[roundandaround]

[meanwhile, her sister just tried to wingwoman her on the network, and rinku sees no problem with this]

Eh? Only one friend? But there's so many great people here! If I knew you, I'd definitely be your friend!

[dereban]

I don't make friends easily...

But that's just the kind of person I am.

[roundandaround]

Really? I thought that once you know someone, you can be their friend.

[dereban]

I'm a hard sell.

For me... just simply knowing someone doesn't mean that I'm their friend. Otherwise, everyone I've met would be a friend. But that just isn't the case.

[roundandaround]

But isn't it happier if they are?

[dereban]

Happier...

I don't know. I don't want to build a friendship with someone just solely for the sake of someone else's happiness. I don't think that's genuine friendship.

[roundandaround]

But if you make someone happy, then seeing them happy makes you happy, and you being happy makes them happy, and it spirals around until everyone's happy!

[dereban]

That's too optimistic.

But... I can't say it's entirely incorrect. At least, for people who I would consider an important friend or partner. However, I couldn't say that about a stranger, or someone I barely know.

[roundandaround]

It's not too optimistic if it's right, though. Isn't it good no matter what to make others happy?

[dereban]

You can't make everyone happy.

[roundandaround]

You never know until you try.

[dereban]

No.

You can only make a set amount of people happy in your lifetime. And even so, there will be times where making someone happy will make someone else unhappy, or hurt others in the process.

It winds up being careless.

[roundandaround]

But helping others is good and makes people happy, so why would it be hopeless? Even if people want opposite things, I'm sure they can understand each other.

[dereban]

Understanding, however, does not equal everyone's happiness. And you can't expect everyone to understand your perspective or your beliefs.

Understanding =/= happiness.

And helping others may potentially make some people happy...
But it won't and cannot make everybody happy.

[roundandaround]

Why wouldn't it? I thought it was a natural thing. I mean, we're a social species, right? And the nonhumans here, they talk to people and help them and make friends, too!

[dereban]

It isn't.

Sure, no man is an island. I know that much... but that doesn't mean that there's such a thing as a perfect society where everyone can be happy. That sort of thing doesn't exist.

We may be social creatures, but we also have minds of our own to think and decide.

That's exactly why people are imperfect. You can reach for happiness all your life and not be truly happy. You can be happy for a moment, but it's only fleeting. One person's happiness can lead to another person getting hurt, even if they can understand or sympathize.

Not to mention the bad people in the world.

Not everyone is redeemable.

[roundandaround]

That's a lot of serious stuff... But if you just give up on that, even if it is a lot to ask, even if it is impossible, it's kind of sad. Because you never know how far you could have gotten. So isn't it worth it to try? Even if the world's not perfect?

[dereban]

Don't get me wrong.

Just because it's an impossibility to make everyone happy doesn't mean that I can't at least make my own world as happy as possible. I have people that I care about, especially back home that I want to see smile.

Of course, I know that people can and will get hurt, because there's only so much that I can do. I'm just simply an ordinary person, after all.

All I can do is the small amount that I've always done and care about those who I get close to. No more, no less. That's all.

[roundandaround]

Huh... I guess that makes sense. But I still don't wanna just give up and say I can't do anything. Even if it's not possible to do everything! Especially not in a fun world like this full of really cool people who wanna save the world and get strong and fix the magic and make lots of friends!

Some of the people here, I worry about too because I can't seem to ever make them happy. But I'm gonna keep trying! And I bet you can do it too, anon-san! Even if you feel like you're ordinary!

[dereban]

And that's why I said that you can't make everyone happy...

If you're saving the world, there will obviously be those who don't want that.

But I suppose we'd just wind up going in circles by talking more on that point, so I'll leave it at that.

In any case, 'ordinary' isn't meant to be me digging at myself. I much prefer to be an ordinary person who knows their limits and understands what I can and cannot do.

Opening my world... that's just something that I'll do on my own terms, and with those I can truly care about.

[roundandaround]

Huh...

[Rinku logic: Huh, that sounds like Inaba-chan. [long pause] That must mean there's two people who want to be normal and don't want to be friends with the entire world. That's even more sad.]

So you don't want to reach out to everyone... In that case, what kind of people do you like?

[dereban]

Well...

People who are kind, patient, and understanding...? At least for friends. Obviously there's more to it than that, but that is the baseline. Past that is something I judge on a case-by-case basis.

[roundandaround]

Okay! There's plenty of people like that, so I'll try to find people and send them your way! ...Or I guess you're anonymous, huh. Maybe get them to keep a look out for someone lonely?

[dereban]

Well, it's not as if I'll look like a lonely person when I'm off anon...