( text | un: revanche )

[nilhilistic]

Do you think you deserve to be loved?

What makes you worthy of it?

Comments

[nilhilistic]

. . . I am alive. That means I must live my life. And that means contending with these things.

[sangreine]

Life is just that way, whether fortunately or not.

[nilhilistic]

What a pain.

[sangreine]

Tell me about it. A lot of things would be easier if all this were more clear cut.

[nilhilistic]

It certainly makes my life harder.

[sangreine]

Well, that's the bad news.

The good news is that a whole lot of others have faced these challenges too. I daresay most of us. So there's a potential camaraderie there if nothing else.

[nilhilistic]

I suppose there is that.

I still haven't decided if I want anything to do with . . . feelings.

[sangreine]

That's okay. Take your time.

While you're deciding and whatever you decide, I'll do what I can to support you.

[nilhilistic]

[ ugh, kindness. but fine. ]

Thank you.

[sangreine]

[ Look man you can't claim to be shocked by this point ]

You're welcome.

My cure attempt is in a week or so. Any chance you'd want to go flying again before that?
It might be my last chance for a few decades.

[nilhilistic]

I would not mind.

[sangreine]

Good, I'm glad. Pick one of the natural sites you've found and we'll go see it. It'll be a nice memory for however long I have left to remember it.

[nilhilistic]

You don't have to make it sound so dire.

[sangreine]

How exactly should I make it sound?

[nilhilistic]

Not like that?

[sangreine]

[ Thanks that's helpful ]

I'm not sure how to make it sound less dire. It's the reality I've been living with for a very long time, different words won't change anything.

[nilhilistic]

It is the reality you believe in.

I thought you would try to keep an open mind, at least.

[sangreine]

[ It's not like her beliefs effect her life cycle, but... ]

I'm sorry. I didn't realize it bothered you.

[nilhilistic]

[ hm. perhaps it did. ]

Everything is subject to change.

[sangreine]

I guess we'll know in a week or so.

If you prefer I be less fatalistic in my language, I can do that.

[nilhilistic]

I think that is . . . best.

[sangreine]

[ But she's allowed to have a moment of misery and pessimism after she gets killed, right? ]

I'll do my best to remember. Just give me a little leniency, it's hard to break a habit that's millennia old.

[nilhilistic]

That is fair.

[sangreine]

Good, then.

Out of curiosity, does it trouble you when others say they don't deserve to be loved? It bothers me despite feeling that way about myself. That's one reason why I answered.

[nilhilistic]

I suppose I would find it ludicrous to hear it from others, but I don't know their reasoning.