ellipsanet | video (un:kamisatoayato)

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video (un:kamisatoayato)

{ despite the topic of today, ayato does actually keep the camera on. he’s had a few days to process things by now, he’s had time to pull back on whatever mask is needed for this. }

Following today the abandoned mansion near the airship station will be closed off to everyone.

{ he takes a long breath, before continuing, clearly reading from something he’s written down in front of himself to make this easier }

The seasonal power holders have worked together to create a barrier. The reason for this is simple, there is something in there that is unlike anything we’ve seen before. My companion and I entered that building on May 29th with the goal of trying to ensure it could be used as a safe spot. Unfortunately, both of us died in that place.

I’ve attached a document with the knowledge we acquired from fighting it in case it sounds similar to anything you’ve encountered before. I also have a video that can be requested. Olwen has contacted researchers to start analysing what it may be, but any similarities may help.

I will not be answering personal questions on the matter. Please keep this informational.

{ and then he’ll cut the video out. he promised transparency, so this is what people get. but he won’t go back on camera unscripted on here now. }

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ It's probably sad that Nen can recognize and interpret Ayato's demeanour now with more familiarity and understanding than they can most other days. He looks exactly the way the other Test Subjects in the lab looked when something...unpleasant happened.

It's the same way Kenta, Chipp, and Shigeru have looked on occasion, ever since the memory portals started and stopped. ]

Hello.

[ Nen accepts the invitation in and studies him again for several long seconds. ]

Your constitution looks poor. Have you consumed an appropriate ratio of nutrients and fluid recently?

{ to be fair, ayato normally takes pride in presenting himself a certain way--even if there have been times he's slipped up with some of that in front of nen. it's a sign of his trust when he does, and they haven't done anything to dissuade him from handing that trust over. }

I... don't have much appetite, no. I can drink water and tea, but most food feels too rich.

{ he speaks slowly as he tries to explain it to them, as though he's still trying to understand why for himself as well. }

[ They make a sound of understanding and shrug off the bag they carry with them nearly everywhere. ]

I understand what that is like.

[ For completely separate reasons, but they do understand. Nen holds the bag close to themself. ]

You do not need to be a gracious host. May I look after you?

You mentioned before, yes.

{ as though he just remembered they had said that, his brow furrows. }

What did you have in mind?

I thought about what things helped me when I am not okay. Or what pother people did for me. So I brought some things.

[ Hence the bag. ]

I would like you to rest a little and try to intake some nutrients. It is okay if you do not want to do that, though.

Oh.

{ his gaze softens at the admission, because this shows nen's growth, doesn't it? from the person he saw back when they first met months ago, to who they are becoming now. }

I suppose... now I've delivered the message I can finally rest, can't I?

{ it's a reminder that he's done his part now, only that knowledge makes him not know what to do with himself, overwhelmed with everything that means. }

I don't want to eat, if that's what you're implying, but I can sit.

Do you think you could drink broth or vitamin jelly? They are very light. Even my stomach does not mind them.

[ And that's saying something, considering they used to puke after even porridge when they first arrived.

Ayato does seem to...deflate a little. It doesn't appear to be in a bad way. It's more like he's finally stopped holding himself so stiffly. Nen cants their head a little, then motions for him to lead the way. ]

Can you show me your closest room with a couch? I will make you something warm to drink.

{ he pales at the thought of it, eyes darting away. a lot of it is psychological, he knows it is, but the thought of anything near his mouth to be eaten or drank at the moment is difficult.

he swallows. }

I don't know, Nenonen. Even thinking about it is difficult.

{ they only have to step a little further into the house, out of the entryway, for the couch to be visible though. }

...

[ That's an interesting reaction. Nen nods though, and drops the subject. ]

That's alright. We can go to the couch anyway. If you do not drink anything within the next twelve hours, please let me know and I will have Shigeru administer IV fluids.

[ Technically speaking, Nen knows how to do that. But they don't have any of the supplies, and they're not formally trained; better to let someone with medical experience and supplies to take care of that. ]

Shigeru... asked for me to visit his clinic later anyway. I'll get myself checked.

{ he's too out of it to connect that they know each other at the moment, and as soon as he sits on the couch his head is tipping back and he's staring at the ceiling. }

If I go for too long I run out of magical energy, so I'll have something. I just. Not yet.

[ Nenonen nods to him, rifling through their bag for a second before producing a thin and neatly-folded blanket which they...you know, unfold and drape over his lap and stomach. ]

Do you need me to hold your hand?

{ his eyes drop down from the ceiling to look when nen places the blanket on his lap, and he's suddenly filled with warmth--not from the blanket but the action itself. }

I don't need you to, but it would be nice.

Then I would be happy to hold your hand.

[ They'll even plunk themself down on the couch next to him and reach out with both of theirs to gather one of Ayato's between them, holding it with...well, care. The Nen of three months ago would've held it palm-up and checked for his pulse as a means of comfort, but the Nenonen of today has held enough hands now to know there are less ~~bizarre~~ clinical ways of providing comfort.

They can't help but sigh softly at the pleasant buzz the contact produces. ]

{ it's almost as though for those moments as nen prepares themselves to sit down, hands reaching out to cover ayato's own, ayato himself holds his breath.

the rush of warmth comes, and while his eyes don't close, his gaze does lower. }

I'm sorry if I worried you.

...It is alright. I was scared when you told me you died. But you are also here.

[ As in, evidently niot dead. That alone is the one fact that has kept Nen from having a much stronger reaction to this. If they found out from someone else that Ayato had died and he hadn't come back....well.

Nenonen gives his hand another squeeze, gaze fixed on the floor. ]

I am happy you are not gone.

{ he nods slowly at that, his fingers move slightly, only to leave soft little strokes against nen's skin in response to the words. }

We ensured to not let anyone know until any danger had passed. The mansion needed to be sealed first, considering we worried people would be stubborn enough to try and fight it. But no... it seems we all come back after we die here.

No matter what happened beforehand, it seems.

[ Those little touches mean the world to them right now--even if they don't show it. There's only the slightest softening of their brow as he does it, but it brings them comfort. ]

...

Was dying scary?

{ he isn't looking to notice, too busy staring at nothing. but the question makes his breath visibly hitch, his hand tighten slightly for a moment.

he knows the answer, of course he does, but it takes him a few moments to admit it--to remind himself that nen can be trusted for him to open up about this. }

Incredibly. Though I would say that was because I was unfortunate to watch how gruesome my companion's death was first.

I knew what was coming.

Edited 2023-06-17 12:45 (UTC)

I'm sorry, Ayato.

[ For what he had to experience. Nen can relate to that far more than they'd like to admit. They had been the only left to take care of the other Test Subjects once the time loops began deteriorating them. All they could do was wait for it to happen to them.

Nen gives his hand a squeeze. ]

I think...knowing makes it scarier. It's easier if you don't know.

Mm. I've somehow evaded death for so long, despite the assassination attempts, I think I'd forgotten how scary it can be when you don't have that certainty.

{ because the first time they would have been unprepared for it. }

But in this case... I made it worse. I called Thoma before it happened. I didn't want him or Ayaka to come looking for us.

You called--

[ Oh, dip. Ohhhhh dip. ]

He...heard?

I'm not sure if there was anything to hear. I was stunned by it before I could end the call.

And as much as he says he doesn't blame me, that he'd want to be there in any way he could if I needed it, I feel guilty for pushing that on him.

{ his free hand reaches up to rub his temple }

I'm still trying to think of a way to make it up to him and apologise properly.

You feel bad about it.

[ They think they can relate to that. The last thing they would want is to upset or make worry the people that care about them...but there's also the steep curve of figuring out what does. Nen's experiences are so different from everyone else's that it took a while for them to figure out while eating snow off the ground upset Chipp so much. ]

Very much so.

{ ayato has a very bad habit with not letting people in as well, this conversation with nen would never had happened had prior experiences here allowed him to drop his guard a little more. to actually consider he can have friends here that won't try and abuse that friendship to try and gain favour or power. }

Especially as I asked him to lie to Ayaka about it as well.

A lie is when you say things that are not true. Why would you want to lie to Ayaka? She is a perfect princess.

[ Nen cannot fathom why someone would say something that isn't true. Lies of omission are harder for them to follow, but an outright fib? Makes no sense to them. ]

ARE THEY WRONG THO

SWEATS

h e h

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other...pother...same thing sdkfs

wekgjnsdfg omg SORRY I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE wheezes

HALSDFDS we're winning today

we sure are

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