( text | un: revanche )

[nilhilistic]

Do you think you deserve to be loved?

What makes you worthy of it?

Comments

text; un:jaeger

[dreamsofwings]

No. I hurt people too badly to deserve it anymore.

But love doesn't really work that way. People don’t stop loving you easily.

[nilhilistic]

If you try to kill them, they'll stop.

[ winning logic, right here. ]

[dreamsofwings]

Will they? Is that always true?

I didn't try to kill my friends. There were other things.

[ He does SORT OF try in the future. Or rather he doesn't entirely try not to? It's complicated. He hasn't done it yet though! He just knows most of how it happens. ]

[nilhilistic]

It's effective. Nothing deters a person's feelings like attempted murder.

[dreamsofwings]

[ Well, fair enough. ]

Did you lose someone's love trying to kill them??

[nilhilistic]

[ hm. ]

No. Despite her dying, she continued to do so.

[dreamsofwings]

[ Despite her dying...? ]

Then it's not absolute right? Even trying to kill people, even hurting them on purpose, doesn't guarantee they stop loving you.

Whether you deserve it or not doesn't really matter.

[nilhilistic]

But it should matter. It has to.

How can it not matter?

[dreamsofwings]

I realised recently that it doesn't. Other people don’t base their feelings toward you on what you deserve.

I tried as hard as I could to make people hate me and they still didn't. Still don’t. I know I don’t deserve to have them care about me but they do anyway.

So who does decide if you're worthy of love then? Why does it matter?

[nilhilistic]

[ how frustrating. ]

So there is nothing to be done?

[dreamsofwings]

I don't know. I think it's just up to other people how they feel about you, no matter what you do.

Why are you so focused on this anyway?

[nilhilistic]

It is something I have to contend with.

[dreamsofwings]

The idea of worthiness? In whose eyes? Your own or someone else's?

[nilhilistic]

Both, I suppose.