text: anonymous (cw/tw: depression, self-loathing for the whole post)

[unknowntodeath]

[Just a very normal question anyone would ask in the network here, nothing strange to see here.]


How do you get past hating yourself?



[Asking for a friend.]

Comments

anonymous;

[promisedyou]

[ Okay, this is definitely a topic that she doesn't want her name attached to, so she's also going the anonymous route. ]

I think that would depend on why you hate yourself, wouldn't it?

[unknowntodeath]

[Completely valid.]

That's a slightly more difficult thing to asnwer without revealing too much about myself.

But if I were to say one thing it's because of the choices I made a long time ago.

un: kantera

[happydreamed]

Find someone who hates themselves as much as you hate yourself. Become deeply fond of them, so that every time they curse things in themselves that they would forgive in others, every time they blame themselves for things outside of their control, it causes you great pain. Recognize your own behavior and way of thinking in them and the ways it hurts the people who love you, and begin to catch yourself at it.

'Tis a long process, but I can vouch for its effectiveness.

[unknowntodeath]

I don't know if I have it in myself to go through all of that. Especially if I had to do it on purpose.

[at_heart]

[ ............well, that sure is some advice. Unsure if he's going to say anything or not, but like. Good for you, Doc. ]

un: gaine

[sangreine]

I wish I had a good answer, believe me.

What helped me most is finding people who refuse to be pushed away no matter how I try. It's not foolproof, and there are a lot of times I take steps backward, but if they see something in me that's worthwhile, even though they've seen the worst of it, maybe there's more to me than the bad parts.

Also, don't believe that line about 'you have to love yourself to love others'. It's bullshit.

[unknowntodeath]

That sounds doable, at least. I know there are people who never would give up on me, no matter how I felt about myself.

I guess I'm just worried that might not be enough. That my hate is too strong to bend the words of others.

un:🐺

[at_heart]

[ ...Eventually, after staring at her first message for a long time and trying to figure out what to say: ]

I don't actually think that's what that means
The saying about loving yourself I mean

un: Hermes

[blazeoflife]

[ Oh.

That hit harder than expected. Junpei wondered who this anon is-- ]

If you figure it out can you tell me?

[ baaad attempt at a joke-- ]

but like, seriously? I guess it's... just realising you did the best you could when you were doin' stuff.

Like you were trying your best, even if it wasn't great

and there are people who'll support you anyway even if you do dont like yourself.

[unknowntodeath]

That's the problem. Doing the best I could ended with me becoming the way I am.

text; un: rider

[kaientai]

Acceptance. You are who you are, so why fight nature?

[ he'll not go anon himself; continuing to hide behind his class name offline too feels like enough hypocrisy to go along with talking about self-acceptance. ]

[unknowntodeath]

[...

So is this the same Rider he spoke with that got him into his thinking mood or are there several riders around. He doesn't know the Rider well enough to know if she would say that.

Either way, it makes him think of a reply for far longer than others.]

If only it was that simple. What I would need to accept is the part of me that got me into this mess.

un: cecilias

[outofoffice]

[ Wow. Buddy? ]

Doing a bit too much late-night thinking?

[unknowntodeath]

Don't we all do that sometimes?

un: kalim

[warmwelcomes]

I can't say that I've ever experienced it before, but I think you have to consider the reason why you feel that way. Is it because you're comparing yourself to those around you? Or because you made a mistake that you can't forgive yourself for? Either way, I think it's likely that you're focusing on your negative qualities when you should be considering all the good things about you.

And this is just my opinion, but I think if you're trying to search for reasons to like yourself, you've already got ones that you're overlooking.

[unknowntodeath]

From what you said, I suppose it would closest to making a mistake I can't forgive myself.

I find that hard to believe. Who I am now is just an empty shell of the person I used to be. Yet the person I used to be is someone I would rather destroy.

un: tamedwolf

[andthatscalledjazz]

Maybe part of it is trying to become someone you don't hate? I don't think it's ever too late to change. Whether it's a part of yourself or something you did, you can always try to be better.

[ Accepting yourself could be the hardest thing sometimes and he'd been through enough to finally not feel those horrible twinges with almost every move he made. ]

Also, try to find people that see you in a way you don't see yourself. The only voices that'll be louder than the one you use for yourself are the ones from people you trust, you know?

[unknowntodeath]

I'm not sure what kind of a person I would need to become. Or what I can become, at this point. But... finding that out would probably be a good first step.

There is a voice far louder than my thoughts that I want to listen to. It's the reason I'm even asking these questions.

un:🐺

[at_heart]

[ bold of you to assume anyone here has gotten past it ]

Let's start with why you want to

[unknowntodeath]

I don't want the want person who cares about me to suffer from my actions.

anonymous;

[kishin]

[ ...not for himself, but. Suzaku will also fiddle with the settings for a while until it's anonymous. ]

It has to start with atonement.

[unknowntodeath]

Atonement. Towards myself or the things that I have done?

un: bordeaux

[syckophant]

I always assumed that you didn't! We all hate ourselves, it's pretty much human nature, isn't it? We see all of the little imperfections in every movement, every breath, everything we create, everything we are, because we live in our skin all of the time.

Even when the world has moved on and you're long forgotten by all but yourself, you'll still think of the things about yourself that aren't perfect. It is less about moving on from that and more about learning to function alongside it, because no matter how you dislike yourself, you are still here, and can remain here long after you think you can't.

So pick your chin up! There are worse people than you. Better ones too, but also worse.

[unknowntodeath]

You may be right. But right now the hate is rather all-consuming. I'd rather attempt to at least make it less loud, if I could.

As for remaining, unfortunately I'm doomed with forever.

text; un: philosophy

[egomitochdavar]

Many are simply incapable. And many others do so without understanding the choice they have made.
What is it that you seek to excise? What manner of growth must be removed from your body?

What is it that you hate most?

[unknowntodeath]

The most. Perhaps the naive ideals that made me the way I am that I have no way of changing anymore.

I tossed those away a long time ago, but nothing changed, of course.

text; un:jaeger

[dreamsofwings]

[ He has no idea how to do anonymous stuff and probably wouldn't anyway. ]

I think that depends on what you hate yourself for.

[unknowntodeath]

Past decisions. Past naivety. Letting myself become the way I am by trying to believe in those.

anonymous

[manastacks]

[ A relatable topic indeed. ]

Work to become that which you want to be. You might not stop hating aspects of yourself, but it can be a stepping stone or a means of measuring how far you've come.

[unknowntodeath]

That's a lot easier said than done, isn't it?

un: tophats

[vivens]

It's different for every person but forgiveness tends to be a good place to start off with.

[unknowntodeath]

The one thing I'm very bad at.

anonymous

[butterflyeffecting]

Honestly? By getting other people to like and love you and learning to love yourself through their eyes. Fake it til you make it, basically.

[unknowntodeath]

Even if you feel like you may not be at a point you deserve it?

un; user_143

[lionsharing]

ah

that's quite a rough thing to deal with, isn't it

i don't think there's an easy solution. do you want someone to talk to?

[unknowntodeath]

I never thought it would be easy.

But no, thank you. I think talking about it might just make it worse.

un: anonymous

[violetlies]

[....It's been a bit, but a post like this out of the blue almost makes him want to ask if it's Kaneki.]

Sometimes you don't.

Sometimes you just...live with this person you hate. Because you can't get rid of yourself.

You keep living. That's the most you can do. And maybe someday it'll go away. Maybe it won't. Who knows.

[unknowntodeath]

Definitely sounds like a pain in the ass.

But you may be right. Maybe there is no cure and just trying to ignore it the best I can.

Text; anon

[musketea]

I don't know. I try to help people as much as I can, I've tried to save people.

But I've always fallen short and
I don't know how to shake that feeling.

[unknowntodeath]

[Now doesn't this sound too familiar. He doubts he would go anonymous, so he really doubts this is him.

But whoever this is... Archer has little sympathy.]

You can't save everyone. Once you realize that, your life will be a lot easier. Give up on your dreams of helping as many people now before you get even more hurt.

Otherwise, you'll just end up empty and miserable. Giving your all for something you cannot achieve. Something that will never be appreciated either.

You'll die without ever feeling happy yourself.

Text; anon

[corpsewarblade]

[Where to start...]

I wouldn't say I hate myself, but I know I'm a disappointment. I'm not clever. There's a lot about myself I know is ugly and disappointing.

I guess I have confidence in my ability in combat. That's the one strength I have, so...I'm focusing on that. I don't know if that helps.

[unknowntodeath]

So you're saying that... the simplest solution would be to just focus on different areas of myself. To try and ignore the other thing that cause me grieve.

[But his strengths are the same as Shirou's circling him back to--]